Never Let Me Go
by you'lllovemeandI'll loveyou
Summary: This wasn't supposed to happen, she wasn't supposed to remember but now it was all she could think about and she was so tired. She was so tired.
1. Intro

Hi guys!

Before I post the first chapter I thought I would give a little prelude so you guys aren't like 'WTF is going on?!'

Kitty is having flashbacks/visions/nightmares about the other timeline, she doesn't know about the other timeline though so she thinks she might be losing her mind.

She's been having them for months and has been withdrawing from everyone as a result.

When she gets the visions she also gets massive headaches and this is a warning! She self-harms to escape sometimes.

She teaches architecture (shout out to inception!), computer technology and helps out with self-defence sometimes. She is also on the X-Men.

Rogue took the cure, she likes to be called Marie now and is living in the mansion but isn't on the X-Men. She now helps with the administrative things and sometimes helps Hank down in the med bay now she can touch people.

Bobby helps teach the children how to control their powers and 'hopefully' trains them to be future X-Men, he and Marie are still together although they have been going through a rough patch.

In my fic Kitty can phase through anything besides adamantium, there are a few more mutants in the Brotherhood and Magneto is not in jail.

Enjoy!


	2. For Blue Skies

Never Let Me go

Chapter 1

(I don't own X-Men)

…..

(Kitty's POV)

 _I watch as Bobby tries to fight back against the thing that is trying to kill all of us as I run past with Bishop, I want to help him but I can't. I have to focus on the plan or all of this would be for nothing. I hear him scream and the last thing I see before we phase downstairs is Bobby being shattered into a thousand pieces._

I wake with a muffled scream, turning into my pillow so no one can will hear me cry out yet again. Once I have calmed down I look to my alarm clock and see that it is one a quarter past one.

I let out a groan and then get up out of bed, knowing full well that I wasn't going to get back to sleep.

The dreams had started a couple of months ago, I started to get small glimpses of this other world, one where robots were constantly chasing us and I was forced to watch the people I loved die around me.

And I was also in love with my best friend.

My best friend who has a _girlfriend._

The nightmares had taken a toll, I rarely slept anymore and always had dark shadows under my eyes. I had lost a bit of weight too and I now could barely stand to be in the same room as my fellow X-Men for too long, always seeing their deaths in my head on repeat.

I quickly got changed into my workout clothes, took a painkiller for the headaches that always accompany these nightmares and phased through the floor, quietly making my way to the gym. I set up one of the punching bags and wrapped my hands before starting my session, I had been punching for almost an hour when a voice startled me.

"What are you doing up at this time half-pint?"

I ignored Logan and instead kept my focus on the bag in front of me, eventually he came around to where I was and came up in front of me, effectively ending my session.

"What the hell Logan? What do you want?" I shouted frustrated that I had been interrupted.

"Your hands"

"What?

He let out some kind of frustrated sigh and rolled his eyes "Look at your hands"

I looked down, my knuckles were all torn up and bloody and I hadn't even noticed "Oh" I felt so embarrassed that _Logan_ of all people had seen me like this.

"When was the last time you slept Pryde?" he asked crossing his arms across his chest

"I don't sleep" I say shrugging and going to my bag to find my first aid and clean my hands. This wasn't the first time I had to clean off my own blood.

"You know everyone's worried about you, especially Bobby"

"And that's supposed to make me want to open up to you? Can you please just leave me alone Logan?" I say not even wincing as I wipe antiseptic onto my hands

"Look Pryde whatever it is that you're going through, we can help. I get that you feel alone, but you're not and we can help you get through whatever this is"

I turn my back to him and roughly pack up my things, slinging the bag over my shoulder before turning back "You have no idea what I'm going through, so please just back off and leave me alone!" I snap storming past him and rushing back to my room.

I throw my bag onto my bed when I get inside, usually when I'm this frustrated I use exercise to vent but if I go back Logan will try to talk to me so I guess I'll manage it the other way tonight.

I turn the shower on in my bathroom and quickly strip down, feeling the hot water soothe my aching joints and muscles and then pulled the small razor out from under my bath mat. I dragged it across my hips a few times and then on my left forearms watching as it turned the water pink and letting out a sigh.

Once I was done and had bandaged my arms up I started to get ready for the day ahead, I changed into a long sleeved grey shirt and some black pants and then got started on preparing for the class I had to teach this morning.

I spent a few hours getting ready before I heard the students start to get ready and go down to breakfast, I grabbed all my things and went down to my classroom. On my way I passed Bobby and Rogue or Marie or whatever she wanted to be called now in the hallway, they were arguing and when I went past I could swear Rogue gave me a death glare.

I rolled my eyes, I didn't have time to deal with her shit and went into my classroom setting down the work I had prepared for the class. I had about an hour before the kids were due to come in so I sat down and turned on my laptop, marking some of the assignments they had handed in a few days earlier.

I was interrupted by Professor Xavier's voice booming in my head

" _Katherine can you please come up to my office? I'll have Warren look after your class"_

I sigh and go up to his office, when I go inside I notice we're not alone. Logan, Jean, Ororo and Bobby were all waiting for me with the professor.

' _Who was looking after the students?'_ Was my first thought. Professor X smiled at me,

"Don't worry Katherine I've got it covered"

"Okaaay…. what's going on?" I say still staying by the door in case I need to bolt

"Please come sit" he says and I reluctantly do, avoiding eye contact with Bobby as I sit and choosing to stare at the floor instead.

"Katherine….Over the last few months you have become increasingly withdrawn, we're all concerned by this sudden change, if there is something going on you know you can talk to us" he said with a kind smile on his face

I practically jump out of the seat " _That's what we're here to talk about?!"_ I yelled

"I'm worried you may be hurting yourself" he says looking down at my hands which are now bruised and cut on the knuckles. I turn to glare at Logan " _You told them?!"_

Jean comes over to comfort me but I immediately pull away, glaring at everyone in the room "Please Kitty we just want to help" she says but all I can see is her dying in Logan's arms. I flinch and move even further away.

"Kitty? What is it?" she says and everyone is suddenly moving forward, making me tense up even more as pieces of my nightmares flash before my eyes.

"kitty whatever it is please just let us in, we can help" Jean says coming towards me slowly as she sees I'm verging on panic

"Why do you even care?" I say through gritted teeth

"Because we care about you! It hurts us to see you like this!" Bobby finally speaks up and our eyes meet, A glimpse of him being shattered into pieces by the things that haunted my nightmares flashed before my eyes and I had to stop myself from crying out.

"Well then stop! If this is so hard then just stop caring! I already have!" I cried out finally letting some of the tears out.

I saw his face and the faces of the people around me to pity and concern and I couldn't look at them any longer "I can't, I can't do this" I cried rushing past them.

I used my ability to get my room faster and once I was inside I let out a strangled cry and gripped the sides of my head as another headache overwhelmed my and I was overcome with images from my nightmares.

I couldn't do this anymore. I wanted to be able to sleep, to be able to breathe. I could see how much I was hurting everyone and I was just so _tired_.

I notice the pills on my bathroom sink from where I am on the floor and crawl over to the bathroom, using the sink as support as I stand up. I take the pill container in my hands looking it over.

Maybe it would be better this way, I wouldn't be around to hurt anyone anymore and I could finally have peace.

I pour the pills out onto my hand.

I count eleven of them.

I raise my hand to my mouth and place the pills in my mouth.

I raise the glass of water to my mouth and take in a large mouthful.

I swallow.

I sit on the floor waiting for the pills to kick in. It takes about five minutes before I start to feel nauseous and I force the bile in my stomach to stay down,11

Another 5 minutes and my head begins to feel very heavy and it's almost impossible to keep my eyes open.

'I'm sorry' I apologise in my head to everyone who I'm letting down.

And then the door slams open and hands are pulling me up.

But it's too late...

I'm already falling.

Bobby's POV

I watch as she bolts from the room, phasing through the door

"Well that went well" I say running my hand through my hair

"She's obviously scared, but what can we do if she won't talk to us" Ororo sighs rubbing her arms across her chest "Charles I know you don't like doing this but can't you…..read her mind or something? Just so we can know what's going on"

"She's shutting me out of her mind again, forcing herself to think of something other than the problem, If I can get close enough or touch her I can infiltrate her mind but I will only do that as a last resort. If she won't let us help her than I'm afraid she'll have to be suspended from all her teaching, maybe getting away for a while will help her"

"What?! We're supposed to be helping her and your talking about sending her away like she's a danger!" I yell

"Bobby I know you care about her but this, whatever this is, It's not healthy and I need to think about my students"

"She's our friend!"

"She isn't stable right now, I need to what's best for everyone"

"Guys fighting isn't helping anyone" Jean interjects

"Well treating her like she is a danger isn't going to help her either"

"I'm sorry Robert but I must do what's best for all of us"

"She is one of us! ... I can't talk about this right now, I'm going to go and try to talk to my friend" I say slamming the door as I leave.

The whole way to Kitty's room I try to think of something to say to her while clenching and unclenching my hands with stress. "Kitty?" I say knocking on her front door. There's no answer but as I push against the door I find that it's unlocked.

"Kitty I just want to talk" I say slowly walking into her room so not to startle her, I notice her room is empty and feel disappointed and worried. I'm about to turn and leave when I notice her bathroom door is shut "Kitty? You in there?" I knock on the door "Look I'm sorry for what happened back there I had no idea they were going to ambush you like that, I just want you to talk to me…. I'm worried about you Kat"

There's still no response from the other side of the door and when I try to turn the knob I feel that it's locked "Kitty? You okay in there?"

Still nothing.

"Kitty can you please just say something?"

I push against the door again "Kitty! Talk to me! Say something please! Just let me know you're okay!" I start to panic and slam against the door again feeling it budge a little "Kitty I'm going to break down this door if you don't say something in the next 5 seconds!"

There was still no response and my heart felt like it was made out of lead, I knew what had happened I just didn't want to believe it. I slammed against the door a couple more times and it gave away slamming open.

She was on the floor next to her shower, pale and eyes fluttering shut. "Kitty!" I shout and fall to the ground next to her pulling her up from the ground, one hand supporting her back and the other the back of her neck as she hung limply in my arms. I pulled her back and slapped her face trying to rouse her "Kitty? No, no wake up. C'mon wake up Kitty!"

I notice the pill container on her sink and choke back a sob, I get up holding her in one arm and turn the shower on, cold water only and pull her into the shower hoping the cold water will shock her awake. It doesn't and I start screaming for help hoping Hank or Logan or someone would hear and come and help.

Jean bursts in, a look of shock passes her face when she sees the unconscious girl in my arms in the shower "She took a bunch of pills, I-I can't get her to wake up" I say shakily

She helps me get her out of the shower and into my arms and we quickly take off towards the med bay. Once we get there I place Kitty's limp body on one of the medical beds and watch as Hank comes over, Jean quickly filling him in.

I watch as they start attaching monitors to her and checking her vitals and it felt like the world had stopped when Hank yelled that she wasn't breathing.

The last thing I see before Logan drags me out is them pumping oxygen into Kitty's lungs.

…..

Next chapter soon I promise!

REVIEW!


	3. So Cold

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 2

(I don't own X-Men)

….

(Bobby's POV)

I've been waiting outside for a couple of hours now while they worked on Kitty, Professor X had gone in a while ago and I was sitting outside with Logan. I let out a sigh, gripping my neck with my hands and bringing my head down to my knees.

How could I have not seen how bad it was?

How could it get so bad for her that this felt like the only answer?

I was interrupted from my thoughts by Hank coming out, I practically jumped out of my chair and went to him "How is she?"

"She's stable, we managed to pump her stomach and we've also given her something to counteract the painkillers in her system. We'll need to keep doing further scans to make sure there is no permanent damage and we have sedated and restrained her for the moment" he explained with a look of guilt and pity, but his eyes betrayed that there was something else that I didn't know.

"What is it? What aren't you telling me?" I tensed up crossing my arms against my chest.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck "Kitty had evidence of self-harm on her body"

 _What?!_

How long had she been doing this to herself? How long had she felt this low and I didn't even see it? Why would she do this to herself?

The professor came out of the room next with a grim look on his face.

"I know why" he said glancing at Logan who was behind me "She's remembering"

I turn and look at Logan, he's tensed up and his fists are clenched, the tips of his blade starting to come out.

"Remembering what? What's going on?"

The professor sighs and gestures for me to sit down "I never wanted for any of you to know, never thought that any of you would remember" he pauses before continuing "There's another timeline, like ours except that the world is very different to the one we live in. The humans created shaped shifting robots called Sentinels to protect them against mutants, and at first it worked for a time. They'd lock up mutants and help keep the peace"

"But then the sentinels began to recognize people who carry on the mutant gene or people who may go on to have mutant children and started to go after them too. The world was at war with these machines and many people died, during this time Katherine developed a secondary mutation. The ability to send people's consciousness back in time. We had her send back Logan to stop the sentinels from ever being made and thus altering the timeline. She shouldn't be remembering any of this but for some reason he has memories of this alternate timeline. Not many good memories either" he explains with a deep look of guilt and regret on his face.

"Why? What's in her memories?" I ask desperate to help my friend

"A lot of people died in that other timeline, many people Katherine cared about. She'd have to see you sacrifice yourselves so she could get away and send someone back and now…. now she's remembering every death and it's hurting her"

"So what do we do? I mean is there a way we can stop the memories? She can't do this again" I sigh wringing my hands

"I have already explained this to Katherine in a brief moment she was conscious, I want her to come and see me and I've advised that Hank put her on some medications to help her cope. Unfortunately, I cannot block these memories out as most of the time they come as nightmares but she isn't alone now. We will help her through this Robert" he said squeezing my hand.

"C-Can I see her?" I ask, my hands shaking with the amount of news I had yet to take in. All I wanted to do right now was see her, assure myself that she was ok and try and block out the awful image from before of her pale on her bathroom floor.

Hank nods and moves out of the way so I can pass him and go inside, she looked tiny in the medical bed and pale. So so pale. Her wrists were strapped down and she was attached to a couple of monitors, an oxygen tube under her nose.

As I approach her bed and sit down, taking her hand I notice the thin scars on her arms, some already white while others an angry red.

I choke back the bile that comes up with the image of Kitty doting that to herself in my head and lay my head against the bed, drifting off to the sound of her heart monitor.

….

I woke to the sound of terrified screams, I looked over to the bed and saw Kitty thrashing around on her bed trying to pull against the restraints on her wrists and screaming her head off. Her eyes were still shut so I figured she must be having a nightmare. I went over to the bed and gently held her down to stop her from pulling the monitors out but that just made her thrash around more.

"Kitty! Kitty it's okay! You're okay, you're just having a nightmare." I said but then she began to sob and beg.

"Please, please don't hurt me. I didn't do anything! PLEASE!" she screamed tugging even harder on her restraints "Please let me go, you won't find anything. Please" she sobbed.

"Kitty it's me, you're having a nightmare. It's not real, you're okay" I said trying to soothe her but she just began to scream again. I tore the restraints off of her wrists and sat down next to her on the bed pulling her into my arms with her back against my chest and my hands around her wrists "Shhhh Kat it's okay, It's just a nightmare, c'mon wake up. I've got you" I murmured into her ear.

It took a minute before her eyes flew open and I felt her stiffen when she realized where she was "It's okay, Kitty. You're okay, I've got you and you're safe" I whispered

She began to sob, big loud sobs that made it hard for her to breathe while I continued to hold her and whisper comforting things into her ear. All the pent up angst and pain from the last few months were finally coming out and I didn't know how to help her through it. I settled for just _being_ with her.

Once her breathing is back to normal and her sobs eventually go down to sniffling Hank comes in, startled by the sudden commotion and quickly checks Kitty over

"You gave us quite a scare Kitty" he says checking her monitors, he talks to her for a few minutes about her condition before saying that he'll be back later and closing the door behind him.

I gently release her "God Kitty you scared me" I say thinking back to how she looked earlier today.

"I'm sorry" she says looking away and pulling away from me slightly

"Why? Why would you do that? Do you have any idea how awful it was to find you like that? Why wouldn't you come to me? How could you try to…?" I couldn't finish the sentence

"I-I ccan't do this anymore Bobby" she cries "I'm so tired and I just want to _sleep_ , I want to be able to look at you guys and not see your deaths in my head, I can't do this anymore I can't!" she covers her face with her face and it breaks my heart to see her in so much pain.

I take her hands away from her face and grip her wrists again, pressing our foreheads together "Yes, yes you can. And I'm going to be right beside you ok, I'm not leaving you. You're not alone anymore" I say

As I'm holding her wrists I feel the ridges of the cuts on her arms and it's enough for me to wrap my arms around her again, desperate to be reassured that she is still with me.

….

Kitty's POV

It took a lot of convincing but eventually Bobby went back to his room to shower, eat and sleep and I was left alone to my own thoughts. The professor had suspended me from my duties, told me to focus on getting better but the look on face screamed pity and I hated it. I hated all of this, I wish Bobby hadn't saved me.

There was a knock on the door and when I looked up, Logan was there with his usual blank look on his face "That was a stupid thing you tried to do kid"

I scoffed at the kid remark and glared at him "What do you want?"

"I want you not to be in this position, I want for you to have come and talked to someone instead of taking a bunch of pills and having your best friend find you passed out on the floor. Look I get it, I understand th-"

"You don't understand! You have no idea what this is like, you think that just because you remember too you have any idea of what's going on in my head? Every night when I close my eyes it's like a horror show, I see everyone I care about dying in different ways and I can still hear their screams when I wake up. I hurt myself just to escape from that pain, you don't understand what that is like, no one does!" I yell, angry tears streaming down my face.

"You're right, we don't understand. So make us understand, talk to us. None of us ever want to see you like that ever again Kitty, you almost gave that kid a heart attack!" I flinch at the mention of Bobby, he seems to notice and then gives me a sympathetic look "Not all these memories are bad are they?"

 _We're lying on the ground at our latest hideout, It's some point past midnight and all the stars are out, despite the ruins our world is in there are rare moments, like these, where you can find something truly beautiful._

" _I'm so tired of running. Aren't you tired?" I mumble against his chest which I am curled against_

" _No"_

 _I look up at him confused "How can you not be tired?"_

" _Because despite how awful this is, if running means that it keeps you alive, that I get more time with you then I'll happily run for as long as I can" he says looking down at me. I smile and meet his lips with a small kiss._

" _I love you" I whisper when I pull away_

" _I love you too"_

I pull myself away from the memory with an ache in my chest and fresh tears stinging my eyes.

"Did you tell him?" he asks

I sadly shake my head and wipe my eyes "No…..I mean it's not like it would make a difference, he's with Ro-Marie, he's happy and this….this would just make things difficult"

"But you love him"

"Yes, but part of loving someone is putting their needs ahead of yours. I just want him to be happy"

He comes over and squeezes my shoulder comfortingly "That's a good thing you're doing, and look if these memories are getting too much and you feel the need to box until your fingers bleed again, come and get me and I'll spot you"

I give him a small smile and nod, he then says his goodbyes before leaving me on my own again.

I couldn't see why they were all bothering. Sure now I had a reason for the sleepless nights but there's nothing I or anyone else could do about it, I was still slowly losing my mind and now I was dragging everyone down with me.

I curled up on the bed and tried to get some sleep, at least this way I could avoid everyone's questions and pitying looks.

…


	4. Can You Hold Me?

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 3

(I don't own X-Men)

…..

 _The people were back, the scientist who had designed those machines, they wanted to unlock to the ability to phasing by somehow getting it from my DNA. Once they had that the sentinels would be unstoppable. So every day they would come in and experiment on me, submit me to all different kinds of tests and tortures. For whatever reason they couldn't find whatever they were looking for._

 _I fidgeted on the table I was strapped onto, an inhibitor collar around my neck and the table was made from adamantium to keep me from phasing if I somehow managed to get the collar off_

 _I watched as they brought the metal tray with the familiar tools over "Subject 1370 ready for the extraction sir" the man who brought it over to the woman in the white coat_

" _Ok Shadowcat, we're going to inject you with something that should activate the mutants cell inside you" she said before plunging the needle into the IV they had me on to keep me alive._

 _Within minutes my world was on fire, it felt like my blood was boiling inside of my veins and my head was about to explode. My body was attempting to phase only to be shocked by the inhibitor collar and I was screaming in pain._

 _They brought the drill over closer and closer, ignoring my screams for them to stop…._

I woke with a scream, flinging myself up in the bed, panting and beads of sweat rolling down my temples. I looked around my room and once I was convinced enough that I was in my room and not in that lab I relaxed letting out a breath. I had been let out of the med bay 4 days ago and had pretty much stayed in my room since. The professor had come to talk yesterday which ended in me crying yet again.

I was so sick of _crying._

I was given time off until I felt ready to work again which meant that I spent most of my time in my room avoiding everyone, I was sure that everyone knew what had happened and I didn't want to face them.

I looked at my clock and it said it was a quarter to 2, I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, even now that I knew what was going on I still got barely any sleep. I got out of my bed and instead of getting into my workout clothes and heading straight for the gym I grabbed a jumper and some tights and quietly made my way outside.

I was walking around the school grounds for almost an hour when it started to rain, I closed my eyes and let the rain hit me, finding relief in the cold water distracting me from my thoughts. I passed the fountain and found myself being pulled into another memory, one from the other timeline. There were tears and shaky skating and a kiss so perfect it hurt to think about and I forced myself to look away.

Eventually the cold set in, making me shiver and I went back inside, turning my shower on almost scalding hot and hopped in, letting the hot water wash away the memory with it. I grabbed my razor from under the mat again and raised it to my hip, cutting in a row of lines. They didn't have to know that I still did this, I needed this, I needed this pain to remind me of what was real and what wasn't.

Once I was done and cleaned up, I got dressed and went downstairs to quickly grab something to eat before everyone came down for breakfast, I had to eat with the anxiety medication Hank had given me so I grabbed a banana and a juice before making my way to the danger room. I ate and took my medication on the way there and threw the rubbish away before setting up a simulation.

I watched as the robots came out one by one and managed to skilfully dodge their attacks, flipping and twisting out of the way artfully and making my way towards them before using my powers on one and ripping its cords out of its neck from the inside before going for the next one and using my legs to rip its head clean from its shoulders.

I don't know how long I continued to do this before I heard clapping from the other side of the room, I turned and Bobby was on the other side of the room. Unfortunately, that was a bad side to get distracted and one of the robots managed to hit me, sending me flying across the room.

I groaned as I sat up, rubbing my sore side and hip. There'd be bruises there tomorrow for sure.

"Shit Kit are you okay?" Bobby asked quickly turning off the simulation and coming over, helping me up off the ground.

"I'm fine!" I said pulling away, I couldn't stand to be touched by him right now, not after the memory from this morning, it was too confusing. "What are you doing here Bobby?"

"I wanted to talk to you, you haven't been out of your room since you were discharged and I wanted to see how you were doing"

"I'm fine! You know apart from the no sleeping, the constant nightmares, the pills and that I get to watch everyone I love die inside my head over and over again but besides that I'm totally fine"

"You know you can be as sarcastic and mean as you want but I'm not going anywhere. I meant what I said Kitty. You're not alone anymore"

I go over and grab my bag, glancing back at him "Trust me Bobby, everyone will be better off if I stay away. Especially you" I say before leaving.

….

(2 days later)

I'm walking around the school grounds again, another day another nightmarish memory. I walk past the fountain again, refusing to look at it and instead focusing on fidgeting with the necklace I was wearing, turning the rings around with my fingers. I was suddenly hit with a massive pain in my head and cried out, grasping my head in my hands as the images flashed before my eyes.

" _What do you think we'd be doing if this world hadn't gone to shit?"_

 _I look up at him "Bobby" I groaned turning my face into my chest. We were on watch while the others slept in our latest hide out, it was about 2am._

" _What? Too depressing?"_

" _Definitely" I chuckle "I just, thinking about what could have been makes me feel guilty. Like I'm ungrateful or something because at least we're still alive, at least we're together. So many of our friends haven't been so lucky" I say thinking of the professor, Scott, Jean and most recently Hank_

" _I'm sorry, I'm just bringing you down" he says kissing the side of my head_

" _If you're not already down in this world then you're dead Bobby, but obviously you've been thinking about it. What do you think we'd being doing?" I ask not being able to stop myself thinking about Rogue._

" _I'd like to think that we'd still be at the school, helping out with the students. I think I'd liked to have helped them learn to control their powers, we'd maybe be married, engaged at the least" I tune out after that, shock overriding my system causing me to freeze._

 _He notices and stops with me "Kat? You ok?" he asked concern written on his face_

" _Y-You'd want to marry me?" I stammer_

 _A grin breaks out on his face overtaking the concern "Yeah, of course. I love you Kitty" he says giving me a small kiss_

" _I know, I just…..I didn't know you thought about that type of thing"_

 _He gives a small light laugh and looks around briefly "Ok, well I guess this is as good as it is going to get, I mean god knows how long we'll have this peace for. This is not how I thought it would be I mean I thought I'd at least have a ring or some flowers but kind of hard to find that kind of thing right now" he lowers himself onto one knee "I don't have a ring to give you and we won't get to have the kind of wedding you deserve but Kitty, I love you and I want to spend the rest of whatever time we have with you. So Katherine Pryde, will you marry me?"_

 _I don't even need a second to think about it crying out "Yes!" and flinging myself into his arms. He breaks into the biggest smile I've ever seen on him and crashes our mouths together, when we break apart I beam at him "I love you" I say before remembering the chain around my neck under my shirt._

" _Wait" I say pulling it out "These were my parents rings, when they died they were given to me" I say pulling off one plain silver band before taking off the other simple silver ring and showing them to him in my palm._

 _That morning Bishop 'marries' us in front the few friends we still have left, there was a small bunch of yellow flowers that I had found while on patrol and we were both in our bloody, torn up, dirty clothes, scratches littering our faces and bodies but it was perfect. We both say smile as we finally are pronounced as one person and meet for a sweet kiss, both of us beaming when we break apart._

I feel vomit rising up my throat, burning it, as the memory fades away. I run, stumbling through my tears to the nearest bush and use the tree as support as I violently throw up the contents of my stomach, tears angrily streaming down my cheeks as I gasp for air.

I feel a hand being placed on my lower back, I don't have to turn to know who it is, a shiver running through me amongst the tremors my body is suffering from. I can hear him murmuring comforting words into my ear which makes me think of the memory and only sob harder as I choke against the bile rising up my throat.

Eventually, with his hand rubbing soothing circles into my back and his quiet murmurs of "It's not real" I calm down, my sobs slowly subsiding and my shaking form now shivering in the cold. He sits on the ground with me, I curl up against his chest and let the remainder of my tears soak into his shirt.

"Why are you here?" I whisper

"I couldn't sleep, saw you walking around when I went to get a glass of water. Are you okay? Don't tell me a vision caused this"

"Fine I won't tell you" I say closing my eyes and resting my head against his chest, the smell of his shirt soothing the massive headache I have.

"Shit. Kitty are they always this bad? There has to be something the professor can do!" he exclaims

I shake my head against him "They're not always like this, I get a massive headache after and I always get them when I'm sleeping, never when I'm just walking around"

"Well what was it about? Maybe there was something that triggered it"

For a second I consider telling him the truth, telling him about everything that happened between us in the other timeline. But then I remember Marie, telling him about this would only complicate things further and while Marie and I weren't friends, I didn't want to hurt her.

"It was just the same old, people I care about dying in front of me, having to run to save myself, all that jazz" I lie

He helps me up off the ground, catching me when I sway on my feet, a mixture of both the massive headache that was causing spots to appear in front of my eyes and the dehydration from the vomiting combined with lack of sleep.

"Woah! I got you, I got you" he says and effortlessly swings an arm under my legs, picking me up bridal style and carrying me inside.

We pass a few shocked students and Logan on the way back, it was about 6am so the children must be getting up now. I must have been outside for longer than usual.

When we get to my room I phase us through the door, and he helps me onto the bed "Jeez Kit you're freezing! And that's coming from the human icicle!" I don't laugh at his joke and he quickly brushes it off, "You probably want a shower" he says going into my bathroom and turning the shower on for me and then picking out some sweat pants and a long sleeved dark blue shirt, giving it to me with a towel.

"Go. Have a shower, I'll be out here" he says sitting on my bed

I start to protest, he probably had classes on this morning "Bobby you don't have to stay"

"I knew you'd say that and yes, yes I do. You just threw everything in your stomach up and you said you have a massive headache. Also you're barely sleeping and you've already had one dizzy spell. I'm staying here in case you collapse in the shower. And before you ask, today is my day off and I'm _choosing_ to spend it with you. So go have a shower, I'll be out here"

I begrudgingly go into the bathroom and take a long shower, only giving myself a few cuts in my hips because I knew he was outside and washed the vomit out of my hair before changing into my clothes and going out to face him.

He was still sitting on my bed, hands clasped together

"Kitty we need to talk"

…..

Review!


	5. Hello

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 4

(I don't own X-Men)

….

"I mean it Kitty, we have to talk about this, please don't shut me out I just want to help"

"Why? Why do you even care? I'm horrible to you, it'd be easier if you just forgot about me"

He comes up to me and grips my forearms "I could _never_ forget about you, you're my best friend and I don't care how much you try to push me away I'm not going to leave. I'm going to help you through this"

I let out a sigh "Don't you get it Bobby? You _can't_ help me, No one can! God even the professor…..even the professor can't find a way to block the memories and I can't do this anymore, I _can't_ and I don't want to hurt anyone so it'd be better if you all just stopped caring"

"I will never stop caring Kitty! And I won't let you give up either not even if it means I have to drink a ton of coffee just to stay up with you when you can't sleep. I'm not going anywhere"

I chuckle "I'm sure Marie would love me stealing you away at 1am"

His face falls slightly "Marie and I…I think it's over"

"Oh no Bobby I'm so sorry, why?" I pat his shoulder comfortingly

"It's just…...run its course I guess. Whatever we used to have, it's just not there anymore"

"I still have to end it, I think I'm just going to have to sit down and talk with her," he says

"I'm sorry Bobby, you shouldn't have to deal with all of my shit on top of this" I say looking down at my feet

"Kitty…. that day…...when you tried to…when I found you it was like, it was like everything turned to grey, like all the colour had been sucked out of the world. I swear my heart stopped and Hank, he told me that if had been 5 minutes later you would have died. I don't ever want to have to feel like that again. I don't want you to ever feel so alone that you thought you had no other choice ever again. We'll figure this out, please just let me help you"

He really means it, he's really not going anywhere. For the first time in months I don't feel completely alone and my resolve crumbles. I wrap my arms around him carefully, "I can't promise you anything Bobby, I think I might be too far gone to be saved but…. I'm sorry. I never wanted to cause you pain."

His arms encircle me "You're not too far gone Kit, You'll never be too far gone"

I refuse to cry at this, I'm saying goodbye to the weepy Kitty Pryde who breaks down in front of everyone. No, from now on I'll toughen up, harden and become the strong woman I used to be.

But for a second, just a second I take comfort in his arms, thinking back to the other memory and wishing that maybe not _everything_ had changed in this timeline.

We talk about the other timeline, bar our relationship as I wasn't going to tell him about that until I was ready, I told him about what I did remember. Jean and Scott, The Professor's 'death', the day the sentinels were unleashed. It hurt him to hear that we had been spilt up, me forced into a lab while he went on the run and formed a new group of X-Men. I begin to tell him about the lab and how I got out….

 _I'm not sure how long I've been in here now, any semblance of time being blurred between the countless experiments and tortures_

 _I hear the woman in the white coat talking with someone who was in what looked like military costumes_

" _She's been here for ages already and nothing! We can't keep wasting time" he sounded gruff, like he was frustrated_

" _I just need more time, we're so close to unlocking it I know we are!" the lady protested_

" _We've given you enough time, there are other subjects more suitable for you to work on. Just send her to the camp"_

"… _. Fine! Prepare subject 1370 for transportation, destination camp X"_

 _Camp X was one of the concentration camps for the mutants, basically where we waited until we died and from what I had heard it was one of the worse camps. They roughly ripped out the countless tubes and wires they had stuck in me months before and wheeled me off to a truck to transport me to my new home._

 _The camp was worse than the rumours, the ground was wet, like sludge and we were all given cheap, thin clothes to wear. The fences had large coils of barbed wire over the top and we all had inhibitor collars on that would shock us if we tried to use our powers. The food was measly at best, stale hard as brick bread and some grey sludge that shouldn't count as food. We were only given just enough to keep up alive until we were executed but a few too many died of malnutrition and starvation in the weeks I was there._

 _I shuddered as I heard a scream from the 'branding' tent, before you were due for your execution you were dragged into a tent and marked. A big ugly M was cut over the right eye to show that you were a mutant. I knew that soon it would be my turn to be branded._

 _The rain began to pour as sat under the small bit of shelter I could find, my pants getting wet with mud. I was exhausted but at the same time found that I couldn't sleep, I was too anxious that I would soon be hearing my number being called into the branding tent._

 _I watched the rain pour down and thought of Bobby, hoping he was safe somewhere in this hellish world. I pulled the torn thin jacket closer around me, shivering. Had it just gotten a hell of a lot colder all of a sudden?_

 _I tried not to focus on the cold and found myself staring into a puddle, then something amazing began to happen. Ice was forming in little webs in the puddle of water. I shot up, looking around for him desperately. Could he really be here? He had to know that it was practically suicide coming here!_

 _I saw from another side of the camp a glimpse of purple light and people disappearing, what was going on? Suddenly a large ball of fire exploded in the fence nearby, people started to run, screaming while the humans scrambled to get things under control._

 _I made a move to go to the hole but a strong hand clamped around my arm, dragging me back "Prisoner 1370 it's time for you to be marked"_

 _No! Not now! Not when escape was so close! I began to fight against him, scratching and clawing and in return was given a big shock from the collar around my neck and he backhanded me across the face, sending me to the floor. He began to pull me up and away when I spotted him._

 _Bobby_

 _He was helping people escape, in his ice form and shooting ice off at the humans who were trying to get the sentinels to come back from the scavenging mission they had been sent on this morning._

 _I had to get to him, I couldn't die. Not now._

 _I used all of my strength and managed to elbow the guard in the stomach, when he bent over I grabbed his head and smashed it into my knee, twice for good measure and he fell forward. He tried to clutch my ankle as I got away and I kicked him in the head sending him unconscious and not feeling even the slightest bit sorry for him "Sadistic bastard!" I spat_

 _I stumbled over to where he was and the closer I got the more my heart thudded in my ears, he looked older now, we all did but his face which always used to be so full of light and humour was now slightly hardened, the new world taking its toll on his face with lines. He also had a beard now, he was shouting directions at a large man who had dark dreadlocks, a large gun and had the M brand over his right eye._

 _I barely manage to gasp out his name as I limp towards him, my legs tired and sore from the last few months of hell. As I get closer I try to call out to him again, my voice slightly louder this time albeit hoarse._

" _... Bobby?"_

 _He turns without hesitation and glances at me, his eyes moving to look elsewhere until he freezes and they come back to me. I give him a tired smile_

" _Bobby" I sigh,_

 _I'm frozen, for so long I had thought about this moment and now I couldn't move, it felt like if I did, If I even breathed this would all go away and I'd be alone again._

 _He moves quickly, going out of his ice form and swiftly pulling me into his arms, I move my heavy arms around his neck clutching onto him_

" _Kitty... I thought I'd never see you again" He whispers into my ear_

" _I thought I never see you again too" I sob, tears streaming down my dirty face leaving clean tracks._

 _We stand there, in the rain clutching each other for a moment longer until he breaks away "We have to go, the sentinels will be here soon"_

 _I nod and smile. Finally, I will be able to get out of this hellhole. He introduces me to his friends, Blink, Sunspot, Warpath and Bishop. I already know Colossus. We end up an abandoned far, far away thanks to Blink's Powers and once my feet hit the ground after jumping from the portal my knees buckle and I fall backward._

 _Bobby manages to catch me, hooking an arm under my legs "I'm going to check her over, she's probably injured" he says taking me to another room with what I assume is their first aid._

 _There is an old wooden table in the room and a box full of first aid materials next to it, he helps me onto the table and opens the box._

" _I tried looking for you, you know? Never really stopped" he says breaking the heavy silence_

" _I don't blame you Bobby, nothing that happened to me was ever your fault"_

" _Do you… Do you know how long you've been gone for?_

 _I shrug, "Does it really matter?"_

" _15 months Kit, 15 months you've been gone"_

 _I frown at that, Over a year! How long had I been in that lab?_

 _He begins to check me over, looking at me with apologetic eyes before cutting off my shirt, thankfully I had a bra on. He notices the burns on my arms and back and the scars from all the knives and needles, the scars from the broken skin from when I'd first arrived at the camp and he tenses._

" _I…...I should kill them, every single one of them!" he says through clenched teeth_

 _I reach out and squeeze his hand "It's okay, I'm okay"_

" _But they… they tortured you! I'm so sorry Kitty, I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner"_

 _I wrap my arms around him again, and we sit there and cry together, and finally, despite all the losses we've suffered and the pain we've been put through we begin to heal._

 _Together._

I give him a few minutes to process this, I know how hard it is to take in and I know that I can't comfort him. Eventually he reaches out his hand and grasps mine "I'm sorry Kitty, I'm sorry you have to remember this"

He squeezes my hand and for the first time in a while I allow myself to be comforted

Maybe it might be okay after all

….

Reviews please!


	6. Demons

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 5

(I don't own X-Men)

…..

The past week has been good, I still have my nightmares every night and rarely sleep but I don't feel like I'm completely alone now. I still cut myself sometimes, I need to remind myself that it's not real and focus on a pain that I can manage. I haven't told Bobby about that though, he doesn't deserve for me to bring him down even more. I haven't told him about our would be relationship either.

I'm on my way back from a session with the Professor, we talk about my nightmares, when I hear shouting from one of the corridors.

"She's using this to get you Bobby! Why can't you see that?!" I recognise Marie's voice yelling

"It's not like that Marie, she needs support at the moment. Why do you even care? We're not together anymore!" That's Bobby's voice! I feel dread start to build in the pit of my stomach, making it feel like lead. I knew what they were fighting about. I take a peek around the corridor, Marie's face in red with frustration, her hands flying about as she shouts while Bobby is tensed up, fists clenched and brow furrowed.

"Yes because you kept running off to save her! She's manipulating you! She wants you away from me so she's using this as an excuse!"

"Shut up Marie, you have no idea what you're talking about!"

"I saw you with her the other day! You carrying her inside, she's so weak I can't believe she still calls herself an X-Men! She shouldn't be allowed around the students. She's not stable!"

I try to walk backwards, they haven't noticed me yet and I can go to my room and wallow in peace but of course I walk into Logan.

"Hey watch where you're going half-pint!"

They both turn at the sound of his voice and Bobby's eyes swivel towards mine, a look of shock passes over his face, followed by guilt.

"Kit…"

I turn and run off, phasing through the floors and making my way outside, I go to one of the big trees in the grounds and climb up, sitting on one of the higher branches. I often go here when I've had a nightmare or when things get too much and I need a break.

Was everyone thinking the same thing? Would I be removed from the school? Maybe she was right, how could I call myself an X-Men when I was like this? I knew that the memories were taking a toll, that I was slowly losing my mind but how could I drag everyone down with me?

I stay in the tree for a couple of hours wallowing, I don't cry though, no matter how much the words hurt to hear I don't cry. I'm not like that anymore.

A snap of twigs startles me from my thoughts, Jean is at the bottom of the tree "Crying doesn't make you weak Kitty"

How did she…. Oh right telepathy.

"You know when I first started to feel the effects of the phoenix force I was scared, thought I was dying. I was terrified of hurting those that I loved. I know that it is nothing like what you are going through but I do understand. Why you pushed everyone away. You don't want to hurt anyone" she says and I nod staring blankly ahead.

Maybe I should stay in this tree for the rest of my life, it was peaceful out here and I couldn't hurt anyone while I was here.

"On the contrary Kitty you are hurting us, Bobby has been going out of his mind looking for you you know. And the rest of us are worried sick"

"I'm sorry, I just…... I don't see the point anymore; I don't want to do this anymore"

"I understand that feeling, but do you want to know when things started to get better for me? When I let people in, the professor helped me understand what was going on and how I could cope and I always had my family here to support me. Your family is here to support you too"

"…Is it true? What Ro-Marie said? Is that what everyone is thinking?"

"No of course not! And Marie isn't either she's just upset. Just give her time, she'll calm down"

I stay in the tree for a little while longer before eventually coming down, Jean doesn't try and hug me. Instead she walks with me back to the mansion, listens to me talk about the other timeline, of the bad memories and the good ones too.

I thank her quietly when we're inside before retreating to my room. Bobby is inside and the second I walk through the door he engulfs me in a hug

"I'm so sorry Kitty I- "

"It's fine Bobby you don't need to apologise" I cut him off, gently pulling back and giving him a half smile.

"But I- "

"Really Bobby it's fine, Marie is allowed to have her own opinion. Just can you two please shout about it somewhere a little more private next time? I don't want the whole of the school to know" I got to sit on my bed. Ok maybe I was a little upset but I think I was allowed to be in these circumstances.

He sighs and then comes over, sitting by me on the bed "You are a great teacher Kitty, and a fantastic X-Men too. The kids are so lucky to have you around and never have I thought for even a second that they weren't safe around you. Marie was wrong to say that"

I look at him, still curled into myself "But is she? I mean let's face it Bobby I'm losing my mind. They shouldn't have to see something like that and neither should you. Maybe it would have been better if I had died that day"

He flinches at the memory of my attempted suicide, the memory still fresh in his mind "Don't you dare. Don't you dare even think that any of us would be better off if you had died that day Kitty. I almost lost my mind that day, I will never forget the sight of you…... on the floor, looking like you were already dead"

He shudders at the thought "Marie was wrong okay? You're suffering from something awful but you not unstable or weak and you sure as hell are not alone. You have all of us right here and we'll be here for as longs as you need us"

I hug him this time, knocking him backwards and onto the bed. I fall on top of him and close my eyes waiting for the impact of our foreheads or something else painful. When I open them I realise how close we are, I'm holding my weight up with my arms but our foreheads are close, almost touching. I can feel his breath against my face and notice that his eyes are closed too.

I think back to my memory from last week, maybe all hope for that aspect of the other future is not lost. But then I feel the stinging pain in my hip from where I've knocked my cuts and wince and he opens his eyes, concern written in them.

"Are you okay? Did I get you or something?"

I pull myself up and off of him "I'm fine I just bumped my hip" I say

"Your hip? Why would that… Oh. Oh Kit"

"it's fine! I'm fine it's not that big of a deal"

He sighs "It is Kitty, you're hurting yourself. I just wish you'd come to me instead, I wish you didn't feel like you had to do that to yourself" I can see that he is hurting, he is hurting because I am hurting.

This time when I hug him I do it carefully, from the side this time, I rest my chin on his shoulder and he exhales loudly, visibly relaxing and wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Just please come to me the next time, even if it's just so I can be there just in case. I don't want to lose you Kit"

My heart swells at his words and I don't have the heart to tell him that in a way he is already losing me, that eventually I'll go insane and I'll leave him in a way worse than death. Instead I nod against his shoulder and allow myself this moment. At least one of the good memories I have of us will be real now.

…..

Reviews Please.


	7. In My Veins

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 6

(I don't own X-Men)

….

Kitty's POV

I've made a lot of progress over the last few weeks, my sessions with the professor were going well and he said he was looking into a possible way of blocking the memories or at least some of them but he wasn't guaranteeing anything. I still struggled with my self-harm but I now had Bobby who stayed with me and made sure I didn't go too deep or get them infected.

He slept in my room with me a lot now, I slept better knowing he was close and when I woke up screaming from a nightmare he'd comfort me and stay until I fell back asleep or keep me company until I forced him to go back to sleep.

His constant closeness does make it hard for me sometime given what I knew about our would be relationship and he didn't, I didn't know how I could tell him. What if the information made him reject me? I couldn't lose him as a friend.

I was making my way to another session, hopefully soon I would be back to teaching classes again. I missed working with the students, besides my sessions I spent most of my time in the gym or the danger room.

I was walking towards the Professor's office when I heard voices from a nearby corridor

"She seems better" Ororo

"Yeah, she still has nightmares every night but I think she's finally making some progress" that was Bobby. Would these people ever learn to take a conversation in private? After the last time I thought Bobby would be more careful.

Marie had been avoiding me since, the few times I have seen her she'd glared at me and spun around in the opposite direction but I couldn't deal with her at the moment. I had my own problems to deal with right now.

I pause and listen to their conversation "You're good for her Bobby, you're helping her so much"

"She's my friend, I just want to help her"

"You care about her so much, I can see why the two of you were together in the other timeline"

I freeze, my heart stops beating in my chest and my mouth suddenly feels incredibly dry.

"What?" I can tell by the tone of his voice that he is shocked "Together? What are you talking about?"

"Oh god, Bobby I am so sorry I thought she'd told you, I assumed she would have said something" Storm fumbles over her worlds uncharacteristically.

"What do you mean together? Like we were _dating_?"

"Not exactly….you two were married"

" _MARRIED!_ "

"I'm so sorry Robert I thought she would have said something"

"Why would she keep this from me? I mean does she get memories about us? Is that why she avoided me?" My heart breaks at hearing this, I want to go and tell him everything, tell him how sorry I was about keeping it from him but I can't, my feet are stuck to the floor.

"I can't deal with this right now" he says and then I hear his feet storming down the corridor. I rush off to my room, phasing through countless walls until I get there and let out a scream of frustration, angry tears coming down my face.

I've ruined everything! Bobby and I were finally starting to be what we used to be, before my suicide attempt, before the memories started coming back and now it was all ruined. How could I face him after this? I started to cry, tears angrily streaming down my face as I covered my face with my hands.

….

I stayed in my room until the next day, Bobby hadn't come to talk to me and I didn't want to chance running into him. Maybe I could leave for a while, give him space and time to process this. I couldn't bear to lose him as a friend.

I decided to go down to the danger room, get some more practice in. I might be able to distract myself that way. I'm working through a simulation when the doors are opened and I turn momentarily distracted but learnt from my mistakes the last time I was distracted in the danger room and pause the simulation.

"How could you not tell me? About us, the other timeline" Bobby is coming towards me, he is obviously angry and confused.

"Please just let me explain I-"

"Explain what? How you lied to me? How could you keep something like this from me? Did you not think I had a right to know?" he cut me off

"No it wasn't like that! Okay I just, I didn't want to make things more complicated or make you feel confused or obligated" I tried to explain, reaching out to him but he turns away from me

"Is this why you avoided me for so long, do you get memories of us?"

"No Bobby that's not why I…... look I only did that to protect you. I wanted to keep you from getting hurt!"

"So you do get memories about us? I thought we were getting somewhere Kitty, how could you keep this from me?

"Because I care about you! I care about you and I don't want to hurt you!" I shout, breathing heavily,

He has this look on his face that I can't read and his cheeks are slightly red from the shouting, he walks forward suddenly and I tense up expecting another argument but what he does instead surprises me.

He grips my face with his hands and pulls my face to his, crashing his mouth down onto mine. I almost die there and then. For so long I have dreamt of this moment and now it was happening and not in a memory.

The kiss albeit passionate is short and he breaks away, I open my mouth to say something but am cut off by the ground shaking and the sound of an explosion. Bits of the ceiling fall down and dust comes from upstairs, the sounds of alarms blaring. I grip onto Bobby to keep me upright and we both look at each other, for a moment forgetting about what just happened.

"What the hell was that?" I ask

"I don't know, some sort of explosion I think"

"The students! You need to go and help them, I'll be right up I've just got to get into my suit"

He seems reluctant to leave "seriously Bobby it's fine go and help the others, I can phase remember?"

He smiles briefly before reluctantly leaving me to help out, I quickly get changed into my suit and then race after him. It's chaos upstairs, there's smoke slowly filling the corridors and the students are being quickly led out by Ororo, Bobby and Scott.

"I'll go see if there's anyone trapped!" I shout to them, ignoring their protests and racing towards the source of the smoke.

I find myself in the gym. Or what is left of it. There are pieces of the ceiling hanging down and fire amongst the rubble that used to be the gym floor. I use my ability to go through the fire, checking to see if anyone is stuck down here.

I find a couple of students in the corner of what's left of the gym, huddled away from the fire and covering their mouths to try to filter out the smoke.

I quickly help them out, phasing them outside and then going back to see if there's anyone else. Once I'm satisfied that there is no one else I make my way back outside.

A sharp pain hits my shoulder and I wince, grabbing the source of the pain. In my arm is a dart.

"What the hell!" I mutter pulling it out

"Well well look who we found!"

John.

He comes up in front of me "I thought that this would be harder" he says smirking at me

I try to phase to run through him, but instead run into him. I can't phase! Why can't I phase? The dart!

"What the fuck have you done to me?" I yell

"Oh this, this is just the beginning. A small dose of something we've cooked up, designed to momentarily disarm your powers"

I feel something cold being clasped around my neck from behind, I turn to see Multiple Man and Juggernaut with him, I reach up to my neck and recognise the feel of inhibitor collar.

"Now we can do this the easy way and you can come quietly or we can do this the hard way." He sneers

I immediately try to run, elbowing Multiple man in the face and kicking John in the stomach making him double over. I make it two steps before I'm flung into a wall by Juggernaut, my head exploding with pain.

I faintly aware of blood dripping down my forehead and the back of my hair and matting it as John drags me up from the floor, his arm going around my neck in a way that if he applied pressure it would cut off my oxygen.

He drags me outside, I try to fight against him but I suspect I might have a concussion because I feel dizzy and my vision is slightly blurry. I can tell that we're outside and that I'm being dragged towards a jet, probably to take me back to wherever the brotherhood is hiding out.

Then we stop.

I can hear shouting but can't figure out who's saying what. Then John speaks

"Hello Robert"

"You'll never get away Pyro! If you think you can get away with bombing the school you're mistaken!" I can hear him yelling but our backs are still turned

"Oh I think you will let me go Bobby, I have something very dear to you all after all" he says turning us around.

Bobby makes a move to run to us, shouting my name but Pyro's arm tightens and all of a sudden my airway is restricted. I start to choke, struggling against him.

"Nuh uh uh, I thought you'd be smarter than that. If you move towards me or try and stop us from leaving I'll kill her. You know I'm not joking" he sneers

"Please, please don't hurt her! John please just let her go!" he pleads

"Sorry Robert but I owe someone a favour, say goodbye to your precious X-Men Kitty Cat because it's the last time you'll ever see them" he says before pulling me backwards onto the plane.

Then everything goes black.

….


	8. Breathe

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 7

(I don't own X-Men)

…

When I woke up it was in a dark room, with stone walls that had paint peeling off and dirty wooden floors. I was strapped into a wooden chair, large leather straps around my ankles and wrists and an inhibitor collar around my neck. There was a tripod with a camera on it in front of me and to my left a large tray full of tools that brought me back to my memories of the other timeline when I was being experimented on.

"Well lookie here the sleeping beauty awakens!" I hear John's voice sneer behind me, he comes around to the front of me

"Why am I here? You know if you're trying to get information out of me it won't work. I'd rather die than help you" I spat out glaring at him and struggling against the restraints.

"All in good time Katherine, and you're not here for that. You see there's this person who is very valuable to Magneto, he wants them to join us and one of their requests was that we make you suffer. It's just business I'm afraid." He pauses before smirking at me "But it will be fun to send those videos to your precious X-Men. Knowing how badly you're suffering will kill them and eventually they'll come to rescue you and that's when we'll attack"

Panic spreads though me as I hear his plans, I need to warn them! But how could I do that when I was trapped in here? They were going to die and this time I wouldn't be able to save them.

He goes over to the door and knocks on it, a thin lanky man with scraggly grey hair around his shoulders come in with another tray. When he set's it beside me I can see an IV bag full of a greyish substance, a needle and some tubes. I struggle as John and another man come over and hold my arm and flinch when the needle goes into the inside of my elbow. They attach the IV and then the doctor and the other man leave.

I watch as the substance drips into the tube which slowly starts to make its way towards my arm, John goes to the video camera and turns it on, the red light taunting me. I look away, I don't want them to see the pain and terror in my eyes

"Hello X-Men" he said with a sadistic smile "I thought you might be interested in seeing your beloved shadowcat again. Come on Kitty don't you want to say hello?" He says coming over and tugging my head up by my hair making me look into the camera.

"It's okay, I'm okay" I say hoping that my words would give them some sort of comfort, I knew what would be happening to me soon and I was determined to be as strong as I could, not giving in to the screams of begging for my life.

"Not for long, you see attached to the IV in her arm is a bag of a very special mixture we've made up here in our labs. It will cause her unimaginable pain, like her nerves are on fire or she's being cut by a million razor blades at once. But you're used to razor blades aren't you Kitty?" he sneers looking at the scars on my arms.

I choke back the sob I so desperately want to let out at seeing the liquid start to go into my bloodstream. They were watching, I needed to be strong for them.

Nothing happened for about half a minute and then I was overwhelmed by a wave of pain crashing down onto me. I clenched my jaw shut, not willing to let out any of the screams inside of me and thrashing against the restraints as the pain ripped through me.

It was excruciating, every second worse than the last. Like my entire body was being set alight by invisible flames but at the same time like there was ice running though my veins causing me to shiver uncontrollably. Every part of me hurt and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I didn't know how long the pain lasted, it felt like days had passed before the fire started to die down in my skin. A thin layer of sweat coated my skin, making my clothes stick to me and my hair slightly damp. I was panting from exhaustion and trembling from the pain.

I could feel myself fading in and out of unconsciousness, a few stray tears leaking from the corners of my eyes and sliding down my cheeks.

"I-I'm…I'm ok" I whimpered

"Say goodbye Kitty, we'll say hello again soon enough" John says once again forcing my head up. I refuse to look into the camera, infuriating him enough to cause him to backhand me across the face.

Stars explode before my eyes and then everything goes black.

…..

(Bobby's POV)

I felt as if I was going out of my mind with worry, she'd been gone a day now and we had no way of knowing where she was or what they were doing to her. I couldn't sleep, I had nightmares of her screaming out for me and woke up screaming myself and the thought of eating made me nauseous. Instead I headed to the Professor's office, it was around 7.30am now so he would be awake and I had been excused from my classes.

Before I could even get to the door I heard voices from inside

"Should we tell Bobby before we watch it? He'll want to know if she's alright" Jean

"Let's just see what we are dealing with first before we get him involved" Professor Xavier

Just as I pushed the door opened another voice filled the room

Pyro's voice.

"Hello X-Men" I rushed to the front of the room, there was a tv on and on it played a recording of John and Kitty, they were in an old room and she was strapped down onto a chair, an IV in her arm. "I thought you might be interested in seeing your beloved shadowcat again. Come on Kitty don't you want to say hello

He grabbed the back of her head by her hair and pulled her head up, I flinched at the state she was in, there was dried blood on her forehead and although I could see that she was trying to hide it there was fear in her eyes.

"It's okay, I'm okay" She said, of course she would try to comfort us while being tortured.

"Not for long, you see attached to the IV in her arm is a bag of a very special mixture we've made up here in our labs. It will cause her unimaginable pain, like her nerves are on fire or she's being cut by a million razor blades at once. But you're used to razor blades aren't you Kitty?" I wanted to find Pyro and kill him, I wanted desperately to run to her and save her from this nightmare but instead I was forced to watch her helplessly as the grey liquid got closer and closer.

I could tell the second it started to work, her body tensed up and her jaw clenched shut, as if to stop herself from screaming. She began to thrash against the restraints that had her tied down to the chair while Pyro smirked and I wanted to break down on the floor, not caring who saw me.

He had her.

He was torturing her.

She was in pain, suffering the unimaginable.

And there was nothing I co do to stop it.

The video lasted over an hour, she was sweaty and gasping by the end from the poison but still she was muttering that she was okay.

"Say goodbye Kitty, we'll say hello again soon enough" Pyro said, crouching next to her and pulling her up by the hair again, when she refused a look of rage crossed his face and he backhanded her across the face, causing her to go limp in the chair.

He smiled at the camera "We'll see you soon" he said before turning off the camera.

The room erupts into chaos soon after

"We have to find out where she is! Professor can't you use Cerebro?"

"They could have a psychic with them, if so it'd be almost impossible"

"It sounds like they're trying to goad us into a trap!"

"So what Ororo we're supposed to just forget about her? Wait for her corpse to be dumped at the door"

I fall to the ground at the word corpse, the thought of Kitty pale and cold, brown eyes blank and unseeing is enough to make me snap.

Jean kneels down next to me "Bobby it's okay, we'll get her back"

"He's torturing her, that video could be from yesterday. Who knows what they've done to her by now? They're not going to stop until she dies. I can't watch her die Jean I can't" I sob into my hands

"You won't Bobby I promise, it may take a while but we will find her and bring her home. I promise"

She squeezes my hands and I nod to her gratefully, we were going to get her back. I could only hope that she'd still be alive when we did.

….


	9. Save You

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 8

(I don't own X-Men)

…..

(Kitty's POV)

I wanted to die, I just wanted for this to be over already. I had no idea how long I'd been in this room for, the window behind me was boarded up so they only source of light I had was the light bulb hanging above me. I had been brought measly amounts of food, a stale bread roll or some crackers and water. Every so often the door would open and Pyro and the doctor would come back in with a new way to torture me. And every time they sent the X-Men a new video.

The doctor came to make sure I survived whatever they were going to do, no point in killing me. What would be the fun in killing me so soon? They'd doused me in water and shocked me, burned me, bruised me with their fists and held my head under water, pulling me back up to gasp in air a few times before doing it again. They'd brought in a mutant with super strength for a power and had him beat me, breaking my leg and at least some ribs too. They shoved tiny blades until my fingernails until they hit they bone and drugged me with some sort of poison that made me see my worst nightmares.

I was so tired and yet it seemed like it would never end, I refused to cry in front of the camera which always got me another bruise. John wasn't happy that I wasn't breaking down like he wanted me to.

I flinched at the sound of the door opening again, what now? John walked in, this time without the doctor.

"Hello Katherine" He says going over to the little tray next to my chair and putting something on it, when I got a look I saw that it was a small, thin knife. He went over to the video camera and turned it on.

"My my X-men you certainly have disappointed me, 10 videos and not even so much as a response. I thought you cared for your own, I thought she was your 'family'. Maybe I was wrong" I winced at this, tears stinging my eyes.

"I'm sure she misses you, don't you want to say hello Kitty?" I'm too weak from the torture and starvation and can barely lift my head up so he once again pulls me up by my hair "Now I know what you're thinking 'What could I possibly do now?' Well I've brought something in with me today"

He went over to the tray and picked up the knife "I'm not going to kill her, not this time. I'm going to mark her" he smirked coming over "A little birdie told me that you had nightmares about a certain mark"

I must have looked as confused as I felt so he continued "A M cut above your eye"

No… how could he know about that? I looked at the knife in horror and wished that I could pass out. I didn't want to be awake while he mutilated my face.

"Yes I know all about the other timeline. Don't worry Kitty I'm not going to damage your pretty little face, wouldn't want you to look ugly for Bobby would we?" he grabs my left arm and pulls the sleeve of the dark grey shirt that I've been wearing since I've been here up, exposing my forearm.

I don't even have time to beg him not to before he brought the knife down, cutting into my flesh and for the first time in however long I've been here I let out a scream. I'd been able to hold it in so far, only whimpering or groaning but this time, knowing what would soon be permanently marked into my flesh. It was too much and I screamed and screamed until my throat was sore and my voice was hoarse.

After what felt like hours of pain he pulled away and I weakly glanced down at my arm, the cuts were still leaking blood but he'd done it in a way that he managed not to hit any veins. I felt my stomach roll at the sight of the big ugly M on my forearm and if I had any food in my stomach I'm sure I would be vomiting right now.

"The next one will be the last" he said reaching behind and pulling out a gun, I was too tired to flinch when he pressed it against my head "Tomorrow I will be putting a bullet into her pretty little skull…...unless you come and stop me"

I sum up all my strength to cry out "No! It's a trap! It's a trap"

I'm silenced by the butt of the gun hitting me in the head.

…..

(Bobby's POV)

12 days

She's be gone for twelve days. Not gone, kidnapped, _tortured_ by someone we used to consider a friend.

I can barely eat; I wake up screaming. My mind replaying the footage from the videos he keeps sending in my dreams. I'm constantly terrified that the next video will be the last.

And I can't stop thinking about the kiss we shared just before she was taken, did I love her? Was it just because I found out we were married? I couldn't deal with my feelings right now, I needed to focus on getting her back.

The professor said that they must have a psychic at wherever they were staying because he couldn't reach her through Cerebro so trying to pinpoint their location was difficult.

 _Robert please come to my office right away_ The professor was talking to me in my head, another video must have come. I dragged myself to his office and tried to mentally prepare myself for what's to come.

As I went inside I noticed that Jean and Logan were with him this time "Robert, we wanted to wait until you arrived" The professor says.

I go over by the tv, he turns it on and once again the room she's being held in appears on the screen. She looks so weak, covered in blood and bruises and sweat. She looks far too skinny as well.

I watch as he sneers as the camera, taunting us on not being able to find her, basically saying that we weren't even trying. I wanted to scream to her that that wasn't true, that I wouldn't give up on her like that but I keep myself quiet. It wouldn't help the situation.

He drags her up by hair again and I notice how tired she looks, how she barely keeps her head up.

 _She's dying_ a voice in the back of my head whispers and I shake it away.

I watch as he brings out a knife and tense up, I feel like all the air is being squeezed out of my lungs and I'm overwhelmed by terror. He says that he's not going to kill her, only mark her. As if he's being merciful and I hear him mention her nightmares. She told me about the prison camps from the other timeline, the horrible M that was branded onto the mutants.

Her face changes into one of sheer terror, I want to run and save her from this fate but I'm forced to watch instead as he says that he won't mark her face and mentions me, taunting her.

He brings the knife down onto her forearm and for the first time I in 12 days I hear her scream, loud terrified shrieks that bring me to my knees and make me want to break down sobbing. I want to look away, to block my ears and the sound of her screaming but I can't. I'm frozen in fear and my own pain.

She screams until her throat gives out and then she just sobs, when he pulls away I see his handiwork and make a note in my head to make Pyro suffer as much as possible when I get my hands on him. She's white as a sheet and shaking, sweat covering her body.

I watch as he brings out a gun, saying that the next video will be the last one and that we had until tomorrow. She cries out, warning us that it's a trap but she is quickly silenced by the butt of the gun crashing down on the back of her head. She's knocked out, slumped forward in her chair and Pyro turns to the camera

"Your move"

The screen turns black and I finally break down in tears. I feel someone putting their hand on my shoulder, hear Jean's comforting words but I can't stop crying.

"She's going to die" I sob

"No Bobby she won't it'll be okay. We're going to get her out" I look up and she's looking at the others "We're getting her out" she says not giving them the chance to argue.

We're coming Kitty. Hold on


	10. Running Up That Hill

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 9

(I don't own X-Men)

…..

(Kitty's POV)

Today was the day.

I would either be rescued from this hell or I would die. Either way it would all be over soon.

I could hear the sounds of fighting from my cell and immediately tried to phase. The shock that followed was enough to have me slumped over in my chair, gasping for air as the restraints dug into my wrists.

Oh yeah. The inhibitor collar.

I wanted to fight but after god knows how many days of torture there was no fight left in me, I slumped forward in my chair, my hair sticking to my face with a mixture of sweat and blood and waited.

Eventually the door opened and in came John "It seems that your precious X-men have finally come to your rescue" he smirked coming over to me. I could see the glint of the metal gun he had in his back pocket "Which means our fun is about to end, I really am going to miss hearing your screams. Now Magneto thinks we should hand you back to your friends, let them see the damage we can cause if they get in our way again." He kicked my broken leg, glaring at me furiously when I showed no barely cried out, I was so tired I barely felt it.

"I don't agree obviously; the X-Men are just going to come back fighting even harder after they see what we've done to you. I think the only way we could cripple them, even if only for a little while would be to kill you. Your boyfriend would be devastated and the rest of them would be too distracted to do anything for a while. But orders are orders so I guess this is goodbye" He says reaching for the restraints.

I almost breathe a sigh of relief before he stops "Then again I could always tell him you were trying to escape" he quickly reaches behind him and draws out the gun before shooting me in the ribs.

...

Bobby's POV

I was making my way through all the rooms, checking every one just in case. Logan, the professor and Scott were upstairs fighting while Jean stayed in the jet preparing the medical supplies Hank and I split up looking for Kitty. A loud bang startled me, stopping me momentarily, I recognized that sound as a gunshot and I started running towards where I had heard the sound and nearly knocked someone over as I ran into them. As I steadied myself I turned to see who it was and the rage in my veins fired up.

I grabbed John by the neck and slammed him into the wall "Where is she?!" I yelled, slamming his head again when he just smirked at me.

He started to laugh "you're wasting time Robert, if you go now you may get to have one last goodbye"

I quickly dropped him and started to run "Kitty! Kitty I'm coming!" I stopped when I saw one of the cells had its door open.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I found.

She was strapped to a metal chair slumped over, her wrists and ankles strapped down and an inhibitor collar on her neck. She was covered from head the toe in cuts and bruises and blood both old and new, but what was most alarming was the rapidly growing red stain spreading across her torso.

 _The gun._

I quickly ran to her and slid down next to her "Kitty? Kitty oh god no! Stay with me! Stay with me!" I quickly undid the restraints and gently pulled her out of the chair "Come on, come on Kitty stay with me, stay with me" I laid her down onto the floor and turned on my comms "I found her, we need urgent medical assistance Hank she's losing too much blood" I say holding her face with my hands and brushing my fingers along her face smearing the blood "Stay with me Kitty. _Please._ I've got you. I've got you. It's okay please" I held her head as her half open eyes stared up at me a mixture of pain and shock in them.

Her breaths were short and raspy as if she wasn't getting enough air and I could tell she was going into shock "I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry but I'm here now _I'm here_ so you have to stay with me okay? Just hold on please" I cry the tears rolling down my face and dripping onto the floor beside me, mixing with her blood.

She starts to shake and her eyes start to go out of focus which only makes me grip her face harder "Oh god. _Oh god_. Please Kitty p-please stay _"_ I hear Hank shouting and coming into the room "She's been shot. We need to get her out of here I'm losing her!" I cry

"We need to stabilize her first, Bobby rip off a part of your uniform now! We have to keep pressure on the wound" I quickly tear off a strip off my sleeve and hand it to Hank who immediately presses it down onto Kitty's ribs.

She doesn't even flinch and her breathing gets worse, it sounds as if she is trying to suck in air through a straw "Wha-What's happening? Why is she making that sound?" I ask watching as he checks her over

"I think the bullet may have punctured her lung. She's still breathing which is good but her lung could collapse. We need to get her back as soon as possible, we don't have time to do this now I'll have to try and stop the bleeding on the jet"

I quickly gather her into my arms and try not to notice how light she feels as we run her to the jet "Kitty hold on you hear me? You stay with me. Keep your eyes on me! We're almost there" I say as we rush to the jet.

As I lay her down on the portable medical bed her eyes roll back and she goes limp "No Kitty, Kitty you stay with me! Open your eyes!" I shout as Hank gets to work on her.

"Bobby I need you to tell the others to come back"

"What? No. No I'm not leaving her!"

"Bobby we don't have time for this, _she_ doesn't have time for this I need you to get everyone on the plane so we can get her the help she needs. GO!"

I again turned my comns back on "Guys we need to go, We've got Kitty in the jet but we need to go right now, she doesn't have a lot of time" I look around and see Scott fighting against a group of mutants. I quickly ice up and slide over to him and quickly help him knock them all unconscious.

Je turns to say something and freezes, I look down to see what he's staring at and notice that I am covered in blood. Kitty's blood.

"Like I said, she doesn't have a lot of time"

The others are either in the jet or standing outside it when we come back and I immediately race back to her taking one of her hands in mine and kissing it.

We take off without any drama and are soon flying back to the school as fast as Scott will go, I don't leave her for a second while Hank does what he can "How bad did he...How bad?" I ask and he looks up.

"Bobby don't, don't do that to yourself. You don't want to know"

"Yes I do; I have to know Hank please. Just tell me I can handle it "

He sighs before going back to trying to stabilise her "I don't have any x-rays so this is just a guess but from what I can see her leg is probably broken, a couple of fingers too... maybe some ribs. I may have to take off her fingernails and there are a few burns that have been infected. Her arm looks infected too. My main concern right now is her lung, there's no exit wound so the bullet is still lodged in there somewhere and I think it might be in her lung so her lung could collapse. She'll need surgery straight away"

My eyes burn as I replay the footage of what John has been doing to her for the last week or so in my head and I break down sobbing, pressing my head down next to her uninjured hand. I hear a sigh from behind me and someone puts their hand on my back "She'll be okay Bobby, she's a fighter" I hear Jean say

"ETA is 5 minutes" I hear Scott say from the front of the plane and I breathe out in relief. She'll make it.

And then the few monitors Hank put on her go crazy and the wheezing sound gets worse.

"W-what's going on?! What's happening?" I stand up as Hank checks the monitor and then Kitty

"She's not breathing, her lung must have collapsed. Jean start chest compressions while I intubate" Jean quickly comes over and starts pressing down on her chest while Hank quickly gets the breathing tube down her throat and starts pumping air into her lungs.

"Jean does she have a pulse?" Jean looks at me and I quickly take over the chest compressions while she checks.

"I found one but it's weak and thready"

"And her blood pressure?"

" It's pretty low 60 over 40"

"Okay...when we land I want you to go straight to the med bay. Just run and set up as much as you can, get maybe 4 units of O negative we're going to need it. Bobby you'll stay with me and help me keep her breathing"

I nod at him, letting Jean take over the chest compressions

We land a few minutes later and Jean runs off while Hank and I rush her to the med bay

"You're going to be okay Kitty just stay with us" I say as we rush down the halls.

Jean's already set up most of the med bay when we arrive and it looks like it could be a surgery room, I help Hank put her onto the table and then stand back as he starts cutting at her shirt to get to the bullet wound.

I draw in a sharp breath when I see the wound along with all the bruises along her ribs and Jean gently pushes at my chest.

"Bobby you don't want to see this, you need to go wait outside" she says and I slowly nod numb at the sight of seeing her bleeding out on a table.

I don't fully break down until I reach outside and Jean closes the doors and the I lose it, turning around and punching the wall barely feeling the pain that radiates through my hand.

(7 hours later)

Hank comes out, his doctors coat on now and with a grim expression on his face.

No.

She can't be

NO!

"Oh god no! Please no" I scream sliding to the floor.

….


	11. This Love

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 10

(I don't own X-Men)

…..

I crumple to the floor, my hand covering my mouth and muffling my sobs. She's gone. How could she just be gone? This was wrong, how could she just disappear from the world? How was I supposed to keep going after this?

Hank quickly comes over, seeing my panic.

"No Bobby, she's still alive she made it through surgery"

"S-She's ok?" I gasp

"Not yet, there's still a long way to go but she's strong,"

"Can I see her?" I say suddenly getting up

"In a minute, Jean's just taking care of the rest of her injuries" I nod and the others all give numerous sighs of relief

"How bad are they? Were you right? What you said on the plane, were you right?" I ask

"Bobby… she's in pretty bad shape. She had numerous injuries and some were quite old making them harder to treat. She had a crack in her skull and there was some swelling and bleeding on her brain, we'll need to keep an eye of that and look out for blood clots, that and the added stress of being shot and the massive blood loss… Bobby she's gone into a coma"

"B-but you said…. A coma? But she'll be alright right?" I can't lose her now, not after everything, not when I hadn't told her how I felt.

"There's no way of knowing when or if she will wake up, her body needs time to rest and heal. She's been through quite a lot; this may just be her body's way of coping" he explains

"And what about everything else? Her leg? Her fingers? Is she okay otherwise?" Scott asks from behind me

"Like I said she's in bad shape, her leg is broken and will need more surgery tomorrow and then therapy before she'll be able to walk on it. She also has 4 broken ribs and 3 broken fingers, I didn't have to take her fingernails off thankfully but they are wrapped up and I've cleaned and bandaged her burns and cuts and put her on some antibiotics to fight off infection. Her lung was collapsed like I thought and I managed to save most of it and stop the bleeding but with her being in a coma I've put her on a respirator for the time being. She's strong, most people wouldn't have made it"

I only manage half a smile at that, yes she was strong but she was still in a coma. She could still die and I couldn't relax until I knew that wasn't going to happen. "Can I see her" I asked, desperate to make sure she was still here with me.

"Sure, I have to warn you Bobby she doesn't look great" he says taking me to where she was lying. She looked so small in the bed, surrounded by monitors and IVs and a tube coming out of her mouth and into a machine that was breathing for her.

Her leg is wrapped up and propped up on pillows and her head is bandaged on one side, I take a seat on her right side and take her hand that isn't bandaged, being mindful of the IV coming out of it. I watch as her chest moves up and down with each hiss of the machine and press a kiss to her hand "I'm so sorry Kit"

I fall asleep at her bedside sobbing, with the faintest feeling of someone running their hand though my hair.

…..

(Kitty's POV)

Where was I?

What was going on?

Everything was blurry and I could hear voices around me.

"It'll be okay Kitty"

"I think we can keep the fingernails on"

"her blood pressure is holding steady"

"Okay let's close her up"

I open my eyes and find myself in the med bay, Jean is standing next to a bed and is winding bandages around someone's hand. I run up to her "Jean! Jean what's going on?"

She doesn't respond, only keeps bandaging and I reach out to touch her. I jump back when my hand passes through her "Wh-What's happening to me? Jean! Talk to me!" I go around the bed to try and get her attention and only then notice who is in the bed.

It's me.

My body lies in the bed with eyes shut and a tube coming out of my mouth, a machine breathing for me. I can see that my leg is bandaged up and so is my left arm. I'm attached to so many monitors and IVs I barely look alive anymore.

What happened to me? Why couldn't anyone see me?

Was I dead?

Is that what this was?

"What happened?" I whisper softly.

I try to think back to the last thing I remember and I get flashes of John torturing me, being shot and bleeding out in Bobby's arms. Bobby. Where was he?

"He's outside, waiting for you" A voice behind me says.

I turn and there in front of me are my mother and father. They'd died in an accident when I was 11, I only survived because that was when my powers surfaced for the first time.

"Mum? Dad? What are you-" I look to my body on the bed "Am I dying? Is that why you're here?"

"That's up to you my dear" My mum says

I go and hug them, relishing in being able to hug them again. "I've missed you both so bad" I sob

"We've missed you too, we've been watching over you and we're so proud of you" my dad says kissing my head

"You are so strong and so brave and you found a man who loves you the way you should be loved, this is everything my father and I wished for you and we're so proud"

"Bobby doesn't love me, he loved Marie….. that kiss it was just because he was confused" I try to explain

"Sweetie you haven't seen him" My mum says squeezing my shoulder "He's a wreck, he's been waiting outside ever since you went in and only left to change his clothes. He loves you"

As if on cue the door opens and in walks Hank and Bobby, Bobby looks haggard, like he's aged ten years in one day. His hands are shaking when he comes to sit by my bed and he takes my right hand in his and presses a kiss to it "I'm so sorry Kit" he says laying his head down on my bed.

I break away from my parents and slowly approach him, his body is shaking with sobs and I can't stop myself from reaching out and running my fingers through his hair, desperate to comfort him somehow.

"It's okay Bobby, I'm not going anywhere"

….


	12. Say Something

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 11

(I don't own X-Men)

….

Kitty's POV

I sat on the left side of my bed while Bobby sat on my right, he was talking to me about what was going on in the school at the moment. It had been three days since the rescue and I was still stuck here, watching like a ghost as people came in and out. Talking to me, crying to me Hank and Jean constantly checking my vitals and then sighing when they saw no change.

I watched as the machine breathed for my body, my chest rising and falling with each hiss and the constant beeping of the heart monitor beside me.

"They were going to have the dance this weekend, but no one really feels like partying at the moment… I was going to ask you; you know? You'd get a pretty dress and I'd be terrified I was going to screw things up… But maybe when you're better we can have that dance hm?" he said holding my hand and rubbing circles onto it as he spoke.

"I wish I knew if you could hear me, if all this talking was doing anything" I place my hand over his brushing my ghost like fingers over his.

"I can hear you Bobby, I'm right here" I wished there was some way that he could know that I was here, what if I was stuck like this? The rest of my life as a ghost or a shadow, fitting considering my codename.

"You're still here because you chose to be here" My mother's voice says from behind me.

I turn and the both of them are still standing there "What? I never chose this, I just….. woke up this way"

"If you go or if you stay sweetheart, that's all up to you. Only you can make that choice"

"But how? How do I decide? If I stay then I'll never see you again, I need you and Dad…. I-I can't lose you guys again. But if I go…. How can I leave him?" I say turning back to Bobby

"I don't know sweetheart, that's for you to figure out. But if you do stay, we'll always be here. We'll always watch over you"

How was I supposed to decide?

…..

Bobby's POV

It had been 5 days now and still no change. I rarely left her side, sleeping in her room and eating next to her bed. I only left a few times to have a shower or get changed.

"You need to wake up Kat….. I can't do this without you… I-I can't" my voice breaks off at the end, my throat thick with tears once again. I'd cried a lot of the last few days.

"Please….. _please_ just open your eyes. Just wake up" I begged

I heard a knock on the door behind me and quickly wiped my eyes before turning, Marie and Storm were standing there "Sorry" I say drying my face with my sleeve.

"It's ok, you shouldn't feel the need to hide your feelings Bobby" Storm says coming up to me and squeezing my shoulder

"What are you doing here?"

"Well…. We both think you need a break. Before you start to argue I'm not taking not for an answer Robert" She says holding a hand up to silence me before I could speak.

"So, I will stay here with Kitty and have a girl talk with here and you will go on a walk with Marie for at least half an hour. If anything changes I will come, get you I swear"

I know there's no way I will be able to get out of this so I nod and allow Marie to drag me out of the room after squeezing Kitty's hand.

We end up walking outside, by the fountain "Those videos he sent, he was torturing her the whole time. And I can't help but think…. What if we went a day earlier? An hour earlier? Would she be okay instead of in a coma? I should've been there, should've protected her. But I wasn't and now…." I trailed off, tears slipping from my eyes.

Marie rubs my shoulder "Hey you can't blame yourself, you saved her life Bobby. You couldn't have gone and rescued her by yourself. And she's not gone, she's still here with us"

I sniff, wiping my eyes again "Thanks Marie, I needed to get out of there for a bit. You're a good friend"

She smiles at me rubbing my arm, then she brings her hands to my face and pulls me down for a kiss. I wrap my arms around her waist out of familiarity and kiss her back before a pair of brown eyes flash in my mind.

I quickly pull away; Marie looks confused "Why'd you stop?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Because I still love you Bobby, I know that we had our problems but I'm willing to work on them if you are, can you honestly say you feel nothing towards me"

I don't answer for a few seconds, pinching the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger "No…. I can't. I do still love you"

She smiles and brings her face back to mine but I pull away.

"What? What's going on Bobby? I thought you said you still loved me?"

"I…I do, Marie you were a big part of my life and I'm always going to cherish our time together"

"Then what's the problem?"

"I just… I don't think it's be a good idea for us to get back together. I just don't see a future for us"

"Because of her?! Because you have feelings for her?"

"I don't know!" I shout

"What do you mean you don't know? You either love her or you don't!" She's yelling now stepping away from me as if being near me would set her on fire.

"I-I don't know, we kissed but then she got taken, I haven't exactly had time to think about it" I try to explain, I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have.

She's about to yell something when Storm comes running up to us "Bobby! Bobby I don't know what happened! She was fine and then she wasn't and I don't know what happened" She says slightly out of breath.

"Wait what? What's going on?" I turn to Storm, what was happening? Why was she in such a panic?

"It's Kitty….. She was fine and then all of a sudden the monitors started going crazy. Hank and Jean took her back into surgery".

…..

(Kitty's POV)

I watched as Bobby cried over my bed, I wanted to reach out to him, to let him know I was here. I wanted to wake up but how could I leave my parents again? How could I give them up again?

Storm and Marie came in and suggested that he go for a walk with Marie, I agreed. He'd been by my side almost this whole time, he looks exhausted and I knew he needed a breather.

He left with Marie and Storm sat by my bed taking my free hand "Hey sweetheart, Bobby's gone outside for a bit but he'll be back soon I promise"

I smile at that and place my hand on her shoulder, she shivers and for a second I thought maybe she could see me but she just kept talking "We all miss you Kitty, you should see your room there's so many cards from the students. They really miss you. And Bobby, he's going out of his mind, he needs you. I don't know if you can hear this but he loves you Kitty, so much even if he doesn't know it yet"

My heart clenches in pain at the mention of Bobby, I knew what this was doing to him but I couldn't just leave my family "Look Kitty I want you to live, Bobby wants you to live, we all do and if you don't I don't think any of us will ever be the same. I want you to fight, I want you to come back to us but…. I also know how much pain you've suffered; I know that it might be too hard for you with everything that's happened so…. If it's too hard, if you want to go then I want you to know it's okay. It's okay, I understand" She squeezes my hand, tears slipping from her eyes.

I place my hand over hers "Thankyou" I mutter.

I go to find Bobby now, if there was just some way of knowing what was the right choice, some way of knowing what I should do. I watch as he breaks down by the fountain and my heart breaks for him, I hear him blame himself and desperately want to shake him, shake him until he sees sense. He saved my life, more than once, I was forever in debt to him.

And then in one second, my heart breaks.

Marie kisses him. And he kisses her back, his arms winding around her waist.

I watch as he pulls away, her face going from happy to confused, she asks him why he stopped and he asks her why she kissed him. She professes her love for him and asks him if he feels the same. I can see she is desperately waiting for his answer.

So am I.

He pinches the bridge of his nose, as if he's feeling stressed and then says the words that break the remains of my heart.

"No…. I can't. I do still love you".

Everything blurs after that, the world loses its colour and I feel as if the walls are closing in on me. I run desperate to get away from this, I can't bear to watch anymore.

 _I do still love you_

 _I do still love you_

 _I do still love you….._

The words kept coming back, around and around in my head and I fell to the ground. Everyone was wrong, he didn't love me. The one thing keeping me here was now gone.

"God!... Damnit! I-I can't do this anymore….I want this to be over! Do you hear me? I want this to be over!" I scream, tearing at my hair with my hands.

All of a sudden I'm in my room, watching as the monitors attached to my bed go crazy. Storm rushes out of the door, yelling for Jean or Hank to come quick.

"What's happening?" She cries out stepping out of the way as they check my vitals.

"Her blood pressure is through the roof!"

"She's seizing!"

I watch as my body on the bed starts to fit, Storm runs out of the room and Jean injects something into my IV. It only lasts for about 30 seconds and then my blood pressure starts to settle down. They start to prep me for surgery, injecting new things into my IV and attaching even more wires and tubes. I see them inject the anaesthetic and the edges of my vision start to fade around me.

I can hear him yelling outside, demanding to know what's happening. I see Hank prepare the drill that is about to go into my skull and go outside. His eyes of frantic and Storm is stopping him from going inside.

I can see a bright light in the corner of my vision and turn towards it, "Goodbye Bobby".

And then I let the light take me.

…..

Cliffy!


	13. I'll Be Good

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 12

(I don't own X-Men)

…

(Kitty's POV)

It was peaceful, like a dream. There was no more pain, no more heartbreak or suffering.

So why did I feel so empty?

I opened my eyes, it was bright, like staring into the sun. I blinked a couple of times before my eyes adjusted. I recognized my surroundings, I was in my childhood home. It was just liked it was before the accident, the faint smell of homemade biscuits wafting through the house and the walls a pale yellow.

Was this heaven?

I walked around the house, taking in each room, memorising every detail. My room was a soft purple, pictures of drawings I'd done hanging on the wall and stuffed animals adorning my bed. I made my way into the kitchen, the cabinets were a soft white against the pale blue walls. Memories of baking with my mother in this kitchen flashed in my mind.

"I remember the time we made those brownies, but we forgot to add the sugar. Your father, he ate three of those, didn't want to hurt your feelings but then you and I had one. And proceeded to spit them out all over the kitchen table" I heard my mum say from behind me.

I laugh at the memory, the image of my dad eating those brownies floating through my mind. I turn and she's standing there, in the last clothes I remember seeing her in. A white dress and her favourite blue cardigan. My father is standing behind her, in his worn out tweed coat, a dark grey button down and his black slacks. We were on the way to dinner, to celebrate my Dad's promotion.

"Is this heaven?" I ask

She smiles and shakes her head "You have to be dead to go to heaven my sweet girl"

I'm confused "I'm not dead? But I thought…."

"No Kitty, you're still alive but you're running out of time. You need to make a choice, you can stay here, with us or you can go back and fight like hell to return to your friends"

"How do I decide? The only thing I was staying for is now gone….. he loves her mum" I start to tear up "I can't feel like that again. At least if I go I know he'll be alright, he has her"

She takes my hand squeezing it "Sweetheart, sometimes life is just a big fat stinking mess, it's hard and you get hurt. But those rare moments, when you find someone who makes everything okay again, that's what makes it worth it. You didn't get the full story Kitty"

My dad walks up to us "We miss you so much and we've loved having you here but you know what we love more? You being happy. He makes you happy Kitty. We've seen your future and you have so much happiness and joy to look forward to, there'll be hard times but isn't a little pain worth it?" 

"But how can I leave you guys? I just got you back, I don't want to lose you again" I start to cry and they both embrace me.

"Sweetheart we'll never leave you, no matter what happens we'll always be here with you."

A flash overtakes my vision momentarily, "What was that?"

"You're dying Kitty; you need to decide"

We're in the med bay, I can hear beeping and see Hank using the defibrillators on me, I go over and gently grab my hand and my heartrate slows down on the monitors.

"She's stable" Jean says, breathless.

I turn back to my mum and dad; they're starting to fade away "No! I need more time! What am I supposed to do?!" I yell out them.

"We'll see you again Kitty, when you're ready. If that's in the next hour or in 70 years, that's up to you"

I watch as they fade away and turn back to my body on the table.

I was running out of time.

….

(Bobby's POV)

I think as I wait, back to that kiss, the last few months. Did I love her? I knew that I'd go out of my mind If I ever lost her and when we kissed, it was like everything fell into place.

Oh my god.

I loved her! I was in love with her!  
And now I might lose her.

It's a couple of hours before anyone comes out, Jean comes out, wringing her hands and chewing her bottom lip.

Before I can ask she speaks "She's stable for the moment"

I breathe out a breath I didn't realise I was holding in, she was okay she was still here.

"What happened? She was fine a few hours ago" I ask

"A blood clot formed on her brain, we had to drain the blood and remove the clot. She arrested during the surgery but we managed to get her back" she explains

"But she'll be okay?"

"Bobby…. The next 72 hours are critical, we've done everything we can but I can't promise anything. It's up to her now"

How could this happen again? How could I almost lose her _again?_ "C-Can I see her?" I choke out

She nods and brings me inside, I didn't think it was possible for even more tubes and wires to be attached to her but there was. She was so pale, so fragile.

I take her hand again, it's still warm and I squeeze it gently.

"Hey" I sniff "I'm here, you scared the crap out of me you know….. I know that I can't fix this, can't take away everything that you've been through and I want to be able to tell you it's okay if you go. But I can't, it's not okay. I need you here, I need you to stay here with me"

"I've spent the last few hours thinking, about that kiss. I was so confused at first but now… I can't stop thinking about you Kitty. I'm in love with you and if you stay I promise I'll show you for the rest of your life."

I break down, the blanket on her bed absorbing my tears "Please Kit, I'll do whatever it takes, I'll do whatever you want just please…... please stay"

I fall asleep next to her, our hands still joined.

…..

(Kitty's POV)

I watch as he sits down next to me.

"Hey, I'm here, you scared the crap out of me you know….. I know that I can't fix this, can't take away everything that you've been through and I want to be able to tell you it's okay if you go. But I can't, it's not okay. I need you here, I need you to stay here with me"

"I can't"

"I've spent the last few hours thinking, about that kiss. I was so confused at first but now… I can't stop thinking about you Kitty. I'm in love with you and if you stay I promise I'll show you for the rest of your life."

I was so confused, now he loved me? A few hours ago he was saying he loved Marie. Why did he have to say that? Why couldn't he just let me go?

I watched as he broke down "Please Kit, I'll do whatever it takes, I'll do whatever you want just please…... please stay"

He fell asleep crying, still holding my hand.

Memories flashed in front of my eyes, Bobby and I mucking around, laughing, skating on the fountain. The kiss right before I was taken.

How could I give all of that up?

I finally make my decision and take my hand on the bed, a warm feeling spreading through me.

There's a flash of light.

My head hurts, my limbs feel heavy and it takes a while before I can fully open my eyes. My mouth is dried out and there is a tube down my throat. I immediately start choking and wake Bobby from the noise.

"Kitty? Kitty! You're awake! It's okay, you're okay" he said holding down my arms that were trying to rib the tube out. He yells for Hank and he comes bounding in.

"Oh my! It's good to see you awake Katherine, just try and calm down, we'll take the tube out in a moment" He and Jean gently remove the tube from my throat sending me into a coughing fit. I only manage to take a couple of sips of water, my throat aching terribly.

They run some tests, flashing light in front of my eyes and taking my vitals. Once all the tests are done they leave me alone with Bobby to go and tell everyone the good news.

He embraces me gently, being mindful of the wires still attached "I'm so glad you're awake, I thought I was going to lose you" he gasps

I smile and slowly lift one lead-like arm up, wrapping it around him "It's okay…. I'm not going anywhere"

…

If anything medical seems off I apologise, I'm not a doctor.

And yes, I did use If I Stay to base this part on.


	14. Losing Your Memory

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 13

(I don't own X-Men)

(Kitty's POV)

…

"Okay Kitty let's see if we can get you standing today" Jean said enthusiastically as she comes over to my side of the bed, they had to take me back into surgery a day after I woke up to fix my leg, placing pins and metals screw in place to help it heal properly. I'd been awake for about two weeks and had only had the strength to try and stand up with Jean's support of times. Both of which resulted in me almost face planting. Hey you try standing on top of a broken leg after just having two major surgeries and see how you go!

I groaned as she helped me stand on my good leg, Bobby waiting nearby in case I fell again. Did I mention that both times he'd caught me, saving me from causing further damage? He was pretty involved in my recovery, making sure I took my pills and telling them exactly how much I'd been eating, if I was in any pain. But other than talking about my health we barely talked about what happened.

I thought back what he said when I was in a coma, was he regretting saying it? Did he mean it? Maybe now that he saw how damaged I was he didn't want me anymore. Maybe he realised Marie was the better option.

The incision site from where they had removed the damaged part of my lung throbbed painfully as I straightened up, my broken ribs screaming in pain. I clenched onto Jean's hand with my good, non-broken one as she helped me over to the wheelchair. Once I was sitting inside I collapsed into the chair, exhausted by the little movement.

I hated this! I hated being tired out by everything! I hated that I would suddenly get tired and fall asleep in the middle of conversations now from the brain surgery and the medication! I hated that sometimes it was hard for me to form words, my tongue getting tied as my brain tried to figure it out.

I hated the bald patch of hair on the left side of my head where they had to drill into my skull, Storm and some of the students had brought me some colourful beanies and I was grateful but I still knew it was there. I wanted to go to my room! I wanted to sleep in my own bed and take comfort in my books and drawings.

"You did great Kitty! You making such good progress" she said with a smile, grabbing a blanket and settling it over my legs so I wouldn't get cold "Hank has given me permission to take you outside today, we both agreed the fresh air would do you good"

I give her a half smile and allow her to wheel me outside, we go past the fountain and I shudder, the memory of what I saw during my coma still fresh in my mind. Maybe that was why he wouldn't talk to me.

I watch as some birds fly across the sky and feel envious of their ability to fly away, what I wouldn't give to be able to just get away from all of this. I can see a few students gasp at the sight of me and self-consciously pull down the sleeve of my shirt, covering up the ugly scar marring my arm.

Jean seems to sense my unease and wheels me into a quieter part of the outside grounds, there are trees planted and I can see from across the pond a large line of scorched land and the remains of a large tree.

"I used to hang out around here when I was younger, a lot of people avoided me because of my powers" she says wheeling me in front of the pond "Scott split a tree in half his first day here, instead of expelling him Charles told him he was enrolled. The ground never really healed" she says pointing at the streak of scorched land and grass.

"I know that something is bothering you Kitty, I can sense it. Of course after what you went through no one is expecting you to be okay straight away but I want you to know that you can talk to me. Bottling your feelings up inside isn't healthy"

I fidget with the edge of my sleeve, looking out at the water and refusing to look Jean in the eye "When I… when I was in the coma, I-I saw my parents"

"You saw memories?"

"No not memories… they talked to me… I could see myself in the coma like I was a ghost or something. Anyway they told me I was dying….. and that I had a choice to make. To stay here and live….. or go with them and die"

"And you chose life" she says nodding

"I was so confused at first, I mean these were my _parents!_ How could I not choose them? But then I thought about all of you"

"And Bobby" she must have known judging by the smile she was sporting

I blush and nod "And Bobby. So how could I just leave you all behind? But then…... I saw him kissing Marie and I don't know what happened. My body started dying and my parents told me I had to make a choice. Bobby told me he loved me and I decided to stay but now…." I trailed off my eyes stinging and guilt eating at me.

"Now you think you might have made the wrong choice"

I nod and break down, crying into my hands. She comes up beside me and wrap her arms around me, hugging me from the side "Oh Kitty I think that's a perfectly normal thought to have"

"No it's not, my parents are dead and I'm still here and now I'm wishing I wasn't anymore, I feel like I'm being ungrateful or insulting their memory of something. Because not everyone gets a second chance and I'm wasting mine" I cry

"Shhh Kitty it's going to be okay"

"Stop telling me it's going to be okay! None of this is okay! Look at me! Look at my arm! I can't sleep, I feel like I can't breathe. I'm never going to be okay again!" I shout, tears violently streaming down my face.

She comes around to the front of my chair and grasps my face "Kitty look at me. Look at me okay" when I look up she continues "What you went through was…. Words can't describe it. But you survived it and you came back because you are strong and you will make it through this because you are strong. You want to honour your parents? Then fight, live the way they would have wanted you to"

She sits with me and holds me as I cry for what happened for the first time since I woke up.

…...


	15. Make You Feel My Love

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 14

…..

(Kitty's POV)

Within the next week I am moved back up to my room, Jean says she'll be in to check on me twice a day and that I'm only allowed to move to go to the bathroom which leaves me stuck in bed bored for the foreseeable future.

The first few days aren't too bad, I own a lot of books and manage to get through them all, nightmares plaguing my sleep and keeping me up. Slowly I begin to go a bit stir crazy, I grab my drawing pad from the desk next to my bed and spends hours drawing the same purple dragon over and over only slightly different so when you flip the pages it breathes fires and flies away.

It's cool the first few times, after about a hundred I'm ready to hurl my notepad out the window. I find a ball next to my bed and spend the next half an hour bouncing it off the ceiling.

I wonder how many times would I need to hit the same spot before it made a dent?

I start ripping pages out of my books and making them into paper aeroplanes, throwing them at the door and trying to see how far I can get them to fly. One flies straight towards the door just as it opens, the intruder getting hit in the head with the paper aircraft.

Bobby catches it before it can drop to the ground and holds it up quirking a brow at me

"I'm so boooooored" I groan throwing another at him

He laughs and wades through the many paper planes on the floor to sit on my bed "you doing okay in here kit?"

"Please take me outside Bobby, I'm going nuts in here"

"I can't, Jean is coming up soon to give you your medication and you know that makes you loopy"

"Well then stay, c'mon stay and tell me about life on the outside" I groan tugging on his arm

"Fine but if you start singing Frozen again I'm leaving" he laughs and I elbow him in the ribs

"So…how's Marie?" I ask deciding to take the bull by the horns

"Marie? Oh uh she's okay, we're not really talking right now. She uh, wanted to get back together" he says rubbing the back of his neck "I told her I couldn't and she didn't take it very well"

"But I thought…. Don't you love her?" I ask

He sighs before continuing "I think that part of me will always hold her dear, she was a very important part of my life but I just, I don't see that kind of future with her anymore"

I squeeze his hand comfortingly; I've missed the way his hand feels in mine. As if they were designed for each other, two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly when put together. His thumb begins to rub circles onto my hand and I look up at him with a smile.

"I've missed this" he says before looking at me "For a while I thought you wouldn't make it. It's just… it's nice to be able to talk with you like this again"

"I'm still here Bobby, I'm not going anywhere" I try to reassure him

"I know but you're struggling so much right now, if I'd managed to get to you faster then maybe….. maybe it wouldn't be so bad"

"Bobby stop" I say squeezing his hand and sitting up "You saved me, I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you. You saved me in ways you don't even know" I think back to before I woke from the coma "No matter what I am so grateful towards you and I don't blame you even for a second for what happened to me. You couldn't have stopped it"

"But you're healing right? You're getting better?"

I sigh looking down "Hank says everything is healing as it should, should be onto crutches next week and then physical therapy after that. Ribs are still bothering me but there's nothing I can do about that and my head is starting to heal some of my hair is even growing back" I say patting the purple hat I was wearing to cover my stitches.

"My fingers are still sore, the nails and starting to heal though and the burns are starting to heal as well. The… My arm is going to scar, Hank said there's no way around it."

He squeezes my hand reassuringly and I take a moment before continuing, if I ever wanted to get past this then I needed to let it out, let myself feel it.

"I'm having more nightmares now, wake up screaming, thinking I'm still there. And I'm so angry _all the time_. I hate him for doing this to me and I want to make him suffer like I did and it scares me how angry I am. I'm scared that it'll change me…. I-I just want to move on from this but I don't know how, I don't know if I can" my voice breaks as I speak, a lump forming in my throat and tears burning my eyes.

He makes a move to hug me and I shake my head, swallowing the lump in my throat and blinking away the tears "No, I'm okay. I'm fine"

I look at the clock on the bed and curse "What? What's wrong?" he asks, immediately concerned that I've hurt myself probably.

"It's nothing…. I just, I need to change the bandages on my arm. Clean it. I can do it myself, can you get the spare bandages, the antiseptic and the cotton buds off my desk?" I ask propping my arm up on a pillow, being mindful of my sore fingers.

He puts the stuff on the bed next to me "I can do it Kitty" he says reaching for my arm. I immediately flinch away and a look of hurt passes over his face.

"I'm sorry I just… my arm. It's…. ugly" I try to explain, looking at the bandages with disdain.

He rolls his eyes and sits on the bed "I don't care about what your arm looks like Kit. And I'm going to help you so I'd prefer if you'd cooperate" he says with a smile that almost dares me to argue

He gently takes the bandages off, unwrapping it and then peeling off the gauze. He sucks in a sharp breath when he sees the scar, It's not as bad as it used to be. The stitches are out now and the skin has sewn itself back together, the scar a puckered X in reddish purple on my arm.

I can see the look of horror on his face and flush with embarrassment, he seems to notice and snaps out of it, getting the antiseptic and wiping over my arm gently. As he cleans and re wraps my arm I find myself losing my composure, my lower lip trembling and my eyes squeezing shut.

When he's done he presses a kiss to the bandage and I lose it, breaking down in sobs. He pulls me into his arms as best as he can with my bad leg and lets me clutch onto his shirt, tears soaking into the fabric as I cry.

It takes a while but eventually the tears dry up, the sobs turn to whimpers then to sniffles and I release the death grip on his shirt.

"I'm sorry… it's your day off you should be relaxing. All I'm doing is bringing you down" I say wiping my eyes but not moving away from him. I'm was too comfortable to move, he made me feel safe for once.

"Nonsense, I came in here to talk to you Kit. You just went through something incredibly traumatic, it's going to take a while" he argues not moving away either

"What if I'm never the same?" I'm afraid to hear his answer, we haven't discussed the kiss yet but at the same time I need to know.

He shakes his head "Then you're not the same, it doesn't matter to me Kitty. I just want you happy and healthy"

I smile and rest my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. He smells of the cool winter breeze and hot chocolate. He smells like home, and for the first time in a while I feel safe. We sit like this content with the silence for a while before he speaks again.

"We never talked about that kiss" I blush red, I had no idea how to respond to that. I knew he still loved Marie and I was so messed up now, how could we ever possibly work?

I stammer my mouth opening and closing like a fish, you know that cartoon of a deer in the headlights? The cartoon deer's eye's and wide and almost pooping out of its skull while its mouth hangs open in fear? That's how I felt right now.

He seems to sense my unease and continues "I'm not going to just forget about it Kitty. We kissed, we can't act like it never happened"

I swallow, my mouth feeling dry "Why…. Why did you kiss me? Is it… is it because of the other timeline? You were curious and wanted to see what it felt like?"

He shifts on the bed, now he's uneasy "Part of it was that, I was in shock but… another part of me, a bigger part just wanted to kiss you"

"Why? Why now?"

He sighs in frustration "Because I have feelings for you! God…. Kit you don't make this easy. I wanted to kiss you because I'm in love with you!"

My heart stops, my breath hitches and my palms begin to sweat. I knew that he loved me, I heard him say it during my coma but I never expected for him to tell me while I was actually conscious. He leans in and I tense up pulling away slightly.

"What? Do you….do you not feel the same?" he asks, dread and hurt in his blue eyes.

"it's not that" I say sitting up straight on the bed

He sits up as well, our shoulders touching as I avoid eye contact with him "Then what? Kitty we've wasted enough time"

"That's why! Don't you get it? We're cursed! The only universe we ever made it work in was one of peril and terror. We've been friends ever since I arrived, spent years' side by side but it never occurred to us until it was too late. And now… now I'm damaged, you deserve someone whole. Someone better and I can't be that. Maybe… maybe we're just not meant to be" I snap, tears once again harshly filling my eyes as my heart ached.

"That's bullshit" he protests grabbing my shoulder and turning me slightly, making me look at him "I know that you don't believe in that fate shtick so why now? Yes, we never realised but it's not too late Kit, we're both still here. And I don't want someone 'whole', I want _you._ I'm in love with _you!_ "

He's breathing heavily, his nostrils slightly flared as he tries to make me understand. I watch in awe as he proclaims his love for me, cutting him off by crashing my lips onto his. His arms wrap around my waist, being careful of my mending ribs and I sigh opening my mouth and allowing him to slip his tongue inside.

We eventually pull apart, both breathing heavily and flushed

"That was"

"Perfect" I say finishing his sentence. He smiles and takes my face in his hands.

"I love you"

"Well that's good because you're stuck with me now" I say sticking my tongue out at him

"Does that mean you love me too?" He asks with a smirk

"No… this does" I say capturing his mouth again with a sweet kiss.

It may have taken us a while to get here, god knows there were so many speed bumps along the way but we were here now and this was our story.

And I wouldn't exchange it for anything in the world.


	16. Lucky

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 15

….

Kitty's POV

Slowly things got better, I started to heal both physically and mentally and when I had nightmares Bobby's arms were now there to comfort me. I was now on crutches, my leg in a brace rather than a cast, I had physical therapy every second day and eventually I'd be moved onto a cane rather than crutches.

Christmas was fast approaching, Bobby had celebrated Hanukah with me and I was celebrating Christmas with him. Most of the children would be going home for the holidays, a few who either had no parents or whose parents were unsupportive stayed back at the school.

A wave of bitterness washed over me as I watched some of the kids embrace their parents and I quickly shook it off. Bobby noticed my tension and squeezed my hand "You okay?"

"Yeah, it's nothing. Just miss my parents" I say with a shrug. He gives me a look of understanding and kisses my shoulder as we lean against the stairs and watch the kids leave.

My parents had died when I was eleven, a drunk driver ran a ran light and pushed our car into oncoming traffic where we were hit by a semi-trailer. I should have died but my powers surfaced for the first time that day, saving me. I had been shipped in between relatives who didn't want to look at the 'painful reminder' until Professor Xavier found me.

I think back to when I was in the coma and took comfort in the fact that I knew they were watching over me.

When all the children are gone we decide to go on a stroll outside, the ground covered in a thick layer of snow. I watch as Bobby makes intricate snowflakes in his palms, each one completely unique. We pass the fountain and I groan.

"What?" he asks raising an eyebrow at my sudden change of mood

"I want to go ice skating, but I can't with this stupid leg!" I huff gesturing to the brace covering my leg.

"I know babe, but Hank said you're doing really well in therapy. You'll be back on your feet in no time" he says kissing the side of my head as he pulls me away from the fountain. Eventually my leg starts to ache from both the cold and the walking and we go inside.

We managed to sneak (not really) a tree into my (our) room and I had found (stolen) some lights from the attic upstairs. I sigh taking off my coat and lying down on the bed and putting my leg up on a pillow, trying to relieve some of the achiness.

"You okay?" he asks, after I got shot he's been much more protective and now if I make the slightest noise of discomfort he's instantly by my side.

"Yep, just sore" I say shuffling around on the bed. He comes over and unstraps the brace, leaving my leg only in it bandages, Hank said it was okay to take it off for small periods of time. He unwraps my leg, not even flinching at the sight of the scars of my surgery and starts to massage it.

"Oh God" I moan, lying against the pillows. Slowly he manages to take away the pain from the day, his hands surprisingly warm against my cold skin. It's wrong how arousing this is.

Eventually he stops, slowly rewrapping my leg and sliding on my brace. His hand brushes against my knee and I grab it, pulling him up and placing his hand on my hip.

"Kit? What are you doing" he asks confusion written across his face.

I pull his head up to mine and crash my mouth against his, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and bringing him closer. At first he responds, his lips soft and warm, moving against mine. I sigh, opening my mouth slightly and that's when he pulls away, slightly breathless.

"Kit we can't. You're still healing" he objects, his eyes slightly darkened by love and lust.

"I don't care" I say pulling him back down to me and locking our lips together again. I feel him relax against me and his hands go on either side of me, holding his weight up as I lie against the pillows. I moan, opening my mouth again and his tongue slips inside as I thread my fingers through his hair, pulling and causing him to groan against me

I open my legs slightly, one of propped up on pillows and the other is bent at the knee so he can lean his body against mine. I reach down in between us and start to run my hands under his sweater and shirt, feeling the hard toned muscles underneath.

He pulls away, needing oxygen and pulls his jumper off while I undo the buttons on his shirt. He pulls one of the pillows out and helps me to lie down flat on my back, his hands running up the outsides of my thighs and causing me to shiver.

I was in a black wintery dress, it was easier to wear with the crutches and I could feel his hands start to run under the hem of my dress, brushing against my inner thighs. I groaned and gripped his shoulders as his hands then ran up my back, pulling down the zipper on my dress. I helped him take it off and then lay there in front of him, in my underwear.

"You're so amazing" he said bringing his lips to my neck and starting a trail of kisses, down my neck and collarbone and onto my bra covered cleavage. He reaches to the back of my bra and unclasps it, pulling it off. For some reason I don't feel shy when he looks at me, I always felt shy when Colossus did.

(Yes she did date Colossus before, he was her first but it didn't work out and they decided to just be friends)

His hand brushes against one of my breasts and I suck in a breath, he begins to press light kisses all over my chest while I lie there and try not to throw him on the bed and have my way with him.

His mouth encircles a nipple, teeth slightly grazing it and I cry out, my hips pressing against his. He runs his tongue over one while his and massages the other and I decide to get my own on him, reaching down to his jean clad legs and slipping my hand into his boxers.

I grab his length and he immediately stiffens and groans against my breast, I take this as I good thing and begin to stroke him up and down. His mouth releases my nipple and his mouth bites into my collarbone, his tongue running over the mark and soothing it. One hand grabs my wrist and pulls it out of my boxers while the other unbuttons his jeans, kicking them and his shoes and socks off.

His hands brush against my inner thigh again and I squirm on the bed, desperate for him to touch me. His thumbs hook under my underwear and he rips them off me while I pull down his boxers. My broken leg is propped on a pillow while the other is bent and he positions himself, looking into my eyes for assurance.

I nod locking my lips with his and he slowly pushes in, giving me time to get used to it. Eventually I start moving against him, telling him it's okay and he pulls out before thrusting in deeply emitting a moan from me as I grasped his shoulders.

He buried his head in my collarbone and started to thrust in and out, setting a steady pace and making me cry out. I had never felt like this before, like I was complete, like whatever was missing before has now been found. I hook my good leg around his hip, urging him on.

One of his hand slips down in between when our bodies are joined as one and he curls a finger inside, pressing against my clit as he thrusts harder. I cry out again, my nails digging into his shoulder blade, he begins to suck on my collarbone as he thrusts faster, bringing the pleasure to a whole new level.

I feel him press against my clit and cry out, the coil in my lower stomach tightening. We're both covered in a thin layer of sweat now, I can tell he's trying to hold off until I come, his thrusts becoming more frantic and his moans in my ear.

"Oh God! Bobby! Please!" I cry out as he goes even deeper, his hand pulling my leg higher and giving him another angle to thrust into. The coil in my belly snaps and bright colours dance in front of my eyes as my toes curl and I grip the sheets.

Bobby cries out soon after, his own orgasm overwhelming him and collapses on top of me, our sweat bodies sticking together. We both lie there a little blissed out before he pulls out and rolls over on the bed next to me.

"That was..."

"Yeah" I pant, chuckling breathlessly.

He pulls me on to my chest, my chin resting right over his heartbeat "Are you okay?" he asks "I didn't hurt you or anything?"

"I'm perfect" I say smiling up at his blissfully "I do need a shower though; we should get back downstairs"

He groans pulling me closer "Do we have to? I'm perfectly fine just staying here all day"

"C'mon" I say sitting up and tugging at him "If you're quick maybe we can shower together" I say with a smile, rushing off towards my bathroom.

Needless to say he followed me in.

….

 _Drip. Drip. Drip_

 _It was just a tap; someone had left a tap on._

 _I told myself that over and over while I sat with Logan, trying my best to ignore the pain in my side that made me feel as if I was on fire._

 _I knew it wasn't a tap though, I knew that the dripping sound wasn't water. Rather my blood dripping onto the floor from where Logan sliced my ribs._

 _I could feel myself getting weaker, I was desperate not to show it though. This was our las!t chance, our last ray of hope. I heard the fighting and the screams from outside and saw Magneto come in, wounded from the attacks._

 _We could hear the sentinels breaking through the barricade, Bobby kissed the side of my head and then went to try and give us more time. I could feel the tears mingle with the sweat on my face as I watched him go._

 _His screams echoed through the room and I sobbed when he stopped because I knew that meant he was gone. Soon the monsters broke into our room, eyes blazing with fire as they aimed at us._

I woke with a scream, sitting up in the bed and sweating as the new memory burned itself into my brain. Bobby was sitting up within a second, rubbing circles into my back as I struggled to catch my breath.

"Another vision?"

I nod, shaking slightly "Pretty bad one. You died"

He sighs pulling me into his lap as I shook and wept into his chest "Shhhhh, it's okay, I'm here. I'm okay" he whispers into my ear.

I soon calm down, looking at the time. It's 2.36am, it's officially Christmas.

"Merry Christmas" I laugh tearfully

"Merry Christmas" he says as he presses a kiss to my forehead

"Not the best Christmas morning huh? I'm sorry"

"It's fine, c'mon we'll do presents now" he says going over to our small tree. He pulls the two presents from each other out and hands me a small purple box with a black bow on it. I open it to find a thin silver necklace with a small delicate snowflake pendant on it.

"Besides everyone knowing that your mine I wanted you to have a little piece of me wherever you go. So I'll always be with you" he says taking the necklace out and clasping it around my neck. I smile touching it gently before pointing at his present which is wrapped in dark blue paper.

I got him an engraved silver watch, it has the word _Forever_ engraved on the back and I had spent ages in the lab perfecting it with hank so that it could withstand freezing temperatures and Bobby could wear it whenever.

"Oh I got you one more thing" I say ready to show him what I had done last week when Jean took me out, she said it'd be good for my rehabilitation.

I pull down the shoulder of my top and remove the bandage that I told Bobby was there because I fell. On my left shoulder was a tiny snowflake.

"Now I'm marked by you" I say with a soft smile.

He gives me a gentle kiss, short and sweet. We spend the rest of the morning drinking hot chocolate and watching the snow fall outside before the kids wake up and then go downstairs. It takes me a while because of the leg and Hank advising not to phase until I'm fully healed.

We watch as the kids open presents, the school makes sure to get presents for the students who don't have anyone and luckily we have two psychics so it's not a guessing game.

Eventually my leg gets sore and I have to sit down but Bobby sits with me, grabbing us some tea and watching as Elizabeth one of our younger students, only ten opens a doll Jean and I chose for her with glee.

I lean back against Bobby and he rests his chin on my shoulder, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Good Christmas?" he asks as he presses a kiss to my head

I think about it, despite not having my parents here and my screwed up leg it was the best one I could remember "The best" I say with a smile as I watch my new family.

…


	17. Stay

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 16

…

Bobby's POV

I couldn't relax, I was too anxious. I couldn't stop thinking about the thing in my drawers, why did I buy it? I knew why I bought it but _why?_

I groaned and went over to my drawers and pulling out the box. The soft velvet of the box caressed my palm as I opened it, inside was a simple gold ring, it had a small round opal in the middle with diamonds on either side, Kitty's favourite stone was opal.

I quickly slipped it back into my pocket and sat on the bed. I had the whole proposal planned out, I was waiting for Kitty to finish up her late danger room session, I'd suggest we'd go for a walk and then right in front of the fountain that just seemed to be the right place for some reason, I'd get down on one knee and ask her to marry me.

Kitty came through the door twenty minutes later, hair wet from the showers downstairs in the gym. Her face was slightly flushed and wet and she had her workout clothes on but I thought she was the most beautiful person in the world.

"Hey babe"

"Hey, how'd it go?" I ask as she starts to strip off her sweaty workout clothes

"Good, Hank said that will all the physical therapy the next time there's a mission I should be fine to join you guys again. Logan agreed" she said happily while she chucked her clothes into the washing basket.

"That's great! I'm so proud of you" I say leaning over and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek "So I was thinking, maybe after you have a shower we could go for a walk? I found something that I really want to show you"

She smiles "Sure, just let me get cleaned up. Hank really put me through my paces today" she says grabbing a towel and some clothes and heading into the bathroom.

I slip the box into my pocket and start to pace as I wait for her to get ready, I was no nervous. I had fought in countless battles but the thought of proposing to my girlfriend terrified me. I didn't have any more time to contemplate this though when the first bomb went off.

The ground shook, the lights flickered before turning off completely and dust and debris fell from the ceiling. I was knocked to the ground from the force of the explosion, landing on my hands and knees on the carpet. I heard Kitty shriek from the bathroom and scrambled up onto my feet "Kitty! You okay?" I yell, opening the door.

She's sitting on the floor, a towel around her body and dripping wet hair. I can see an angry red mark on her shoulder and go to help her off the floor "I'm fine, just hit the floor hard when the floor shook. What was that?" she asked as she walked into our room and started to pull out her X-Men suit.

"I don't know but I'm guessing it wasn't an earthquake. You stay here and I'll go check it out" I say and she frowns and tenses up "Excuse me? You go out into almost certain danger and I'll what? Wait on the sidelines for you to come back? I don't think so" she scoffs

"Kitty you have to stay here, please I'm begging you." He grabs my upper arms with his hands

"I'm not going to just sit here and wait while you risk your life!" I say rolling my eyes and pulling away to pull up my suit "Look Bobby we can stay and argue all you want but I am going, I'll even stay by your side if that makes you feel better. But I am going" I zip up my suit and turn back to him "I'm sorry but I am not going to sit here while you go out there and wait for you to come back if you even come back in one piece. If you fight then I fight, we do this together" I grasp his face "Or not at all" I kiss him for a few seconds before resting our foreheads together.

"You have to stay with me the whole time"

"Of course"

"Let's go then" He grasps my hand and we carefully leave the room.

...

"What's going on?"

"From what I can see they're not really attacking the school, Magneto's talking with Professor Xavier, Logan doesn't look happy" Bobby says from where he's looking out the window

He lets me have a look and I can see Professor X, Logan, Ororo, Hank and Jean out on the lawn. Across from them are Magneto, Mystique, Multiple Man, Quill, Juggernaut and then from behind him emerges ...Pyro. He looks in my direction and smirks at me.

I'm suddenly pulled back into a memory of Pyro digging the letter M into my arm and my heart speeds up, I tear up and let out a strangled gasp. I feel like someone's punched me in the stomach and winded me. Bobby immediately notices somethings wrong and gently pulls me away from the window, quickly glancing out to see what has upset me. His face hardens and I can see his jaw clench.

He turns back to me "Kitty look at me, it's okay. You're safe. I'm not going to let him come anywhere near you. I'll kill him if he tries. I won't let you be taken from me again" he promises wiping the tears that I've just shed away with his thumbs

I nod shakily and give him a small kiss forcing the bad memory out of my head and focusing on the man in front of me. We are interrupted by a small cough and I turn around to see Rogue standing looking slightly embarrassed and a little flushed.

"Oh...Sorry we jus-"

"It's fine" She says cutting off my apology and giving me a small smile "You don't have to hide for my sake. You're upset and he helps, I'm okay with it now so...Any idea what's going on?"

As if one cue loud shouting came from outside followed by bangs.

"Shit I need to go check it out but ...John's here and I don't want to leave her alone" Bobby says gesturing to me "Do you mind staying with here for a few minutes? I'll be right back"

"It's fine, I don't mind staying with her" Rogue smiles

He turns to me "I know you don't need a babysitter, I know that you can look after yourself I'm just a bit freaked out that John's here so please. For my sake just stay here. I'll be back as soon as I can" I nod and give him another kiss before giving him a small hug.

"I love you, please just come back to me" I whisper into his ear

"I love you more" he says kissing the top of my head before breaking away and running off towards where the noise was coming from.

I sit down with Rogue and lay my head into my hands curling my fingers into my hair "I want to help, they could die and I want to help but every time I see Pyro I freeze up. I'm so screwed up now and it's all his fault" I tug at my hair and groan

I feel Rogue's gloved hands take my hands from my hair "Don't do that, Bobby is going to be fine, I can see just how much he loves you. He wouldn't let anything happen to you and he certainly wouldn't die if he had a say in it. You will move on from this one day Kitty" She says squeezing my hands "I'm going to get you some water, you need to calm down" she says before turning back to the kitchen and grabbing a glass.

As I hear the running water I am reminded of the time Bobby and I went ice-skating after I was rescued.

'He'll come back' I think to myself 'He always does'

Rogue comes back with a glass of water and I take it gratefully "Thanks" I say as I take a sip of water. I quickly drink the water hoping it will help calm my nerves and talk to Rogue for a few minutes about my students desperately trying to distract myself from the fact that my boyfriend was out there fighting without me.

And then I start to feel a little weird. Kind of like when I was coming off the anaesthesia after I was rescued, my head felt incredibly heavy but light at the same time. My vision began to blur and I felt like I was going to fall sideways.

"Uhhh...I...I don't feel well" I stammered reaching out for the benchtop in front of me with one hand and standing up, trying to ignore the feeling of bile rising up in my throat. All of a sudden my head felt it was being torn in two and I let out a shriek, clutching my head in my hands and dropping the glass in the process sending it crashing to the floor where it exploded in a million pieces.

'Wha-What's happening to me?" I cried out

"You gave me no other choice" Rogue said coming over to me, a blank expression on her face

"Y-You did this?" I was finding it hard to stay awake and upright

"You took him from me. Because of you he broke up with me and now... Now I'm going to hurt him just as much as he hurt me. I'm going to break his heart just like he broke mine. I'm sorry Kitty but this is something that I have to do"

That was the last thing I heard before everything went black.

...

Bobby's POV

The fighting had started already by the time I got there, Storm was fighting against Mystique who was rapidly changing between versions of other mutants, Jean was doing her best against Multiple Man, Logan and Hank were trying to take out Juggernaut and Quill and in the middle of all of this Professor X and Magneto were arguing, fighting with their words rather than their fists. I spotted Pyro standing back, smirking as it all unfolded and saw red.

It was like something else took over my brain and I stormed over "You made a big mistake coming here" I said drawing my arm back and launching it at him, hitting him in the jaw and knocking him over onto the lawn.

He sat up and glared at me "Where is she? Hiding inside like a coward? Maybe after I'm done with you she and I can have another 'conversation'. I do miss hearing her screams"

I couldn't stop hitting him, I knew he wasn't fighting back which struck me as odd but all I could see was Kitty waking up screaming from nightmares every night. Until he spoke.

"You...really are...stupid" he slurred spitting out some blood "And...its going to cost you...her"

This stopped my fists. "What are you talking about?" I snarled. When he didn't answer I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up to me "I should kill you for what you did to her. And believe me I want to, so if you don't want to die right now START TALKING!"

"You...think Magneto cares about this school?...You should have...kept her with you" he laughed

"Yeah well if your plan was to hurt her then it's not going to work. I didn't leave her alone and Rogue will protect her" I said

"Y-You think she's safe with Marie? Who do you think it was that told me Kitty was in the gym that day? Did you honestly think that it was a coincidence that we found her. Marie wanted revenge, and now she'll get it. I'd start running if I was you"

My heart stopped "No!" I yelled sprinting off towards the school.

I have never run faster in my life, every second it took me to get to her was another second she was in danger. As I ran through the hall I heard a scream and the sound of something smashing on the floor and I ran even faster.

'Please be okay, Please god. Please not her' I muttered to myself as I approached the kitchen 'Please not her'

I ran into the kitchen and froze as I spotted her. She was lying on the floor unconscious.

"No...no no no!" I fell onto my knees next to her and pulled her limp body into my arms "Kitty? Kitty can you hear me? Baby open your eyes, come on look at me. Kitty!" I brush her hair from her face and notice how she's burning up.

I quickly whip around to face Rogue who was just standing there watching me as I held Kitty's body in my arms "What did you do?!" I shout

She rolls her eyes "Don't worry Bobby, you'll get one more chance to say goodbye before she dies" she smirks and turns to leave but an arm restrains her. Logan is standing there looking between Rogue and I and his eyes widen when he notices the girl in my arms.

"What did you do Marie?" he growls

She shrugs "She had it coming"

I turn my attention back to Kitty while they argue, she's getting paler by the minute and her skin is like fire to mine "Oh god, please. Please don't go" I mumble pressing my lips to her burning forehead.

I hear a scuffle and turn back to Logan and Rogue, he has her wrist in one hand and forces her hand open, taking the vial from her palm "Bobby, get her down to the infirmary, I'll get Hank or Jean. Hopefully there's enough in here for an antidote" he says

I nod and stand up, lifting her in my arms. On my way, out I hear Logan speak to Rogue again "You better hope she makes it, there'll be nothing stopping him from killing you if she doesn't"

I run down to what's left of the infirmary as fast as I can with her in my arms and lie her down on the medical bed, taking her face in my hands "Kitty?...Baby you have to hold on okay? Please baby just hold on. I'm so sorry. Please don't go" I cry smoothing out her hair.

Jean rushes into the room soon after that "Logan told me Marie poisoned her, what are her symptoms?" She snaps on a pair of gloves and moves over one of her medical trays next to the bed, taking flashlight from it and shining it in her eyes.

"S-she's burning up and I can't wake her!" I stammer as Jean begins to attach monitors to Kitty's pale form.

"Damn, she's 41.4 degrees. We need to get her cooled down now!" she shouts "Bobby get me that tub from over there" she says pointing to a metal bathtub in the corner of the room. I quickly pull it over and fill it up with water and ice like Jean tells me to.

I help her strip Kitty down into her underwear, there's no time to get prudish and lower her into the bathtub. She doesn't so much as flinch when she's lowered into the icy water. I can hear Hank's voice booming as he comes downstairs "How is she?"

"Heartrate is fast, I'm hoping the ice bath will bring down her temperature and help slow it down. I've put her on oxygen and IV fluids but she's burning through them"

Hank glances at me "Bobby we need to run some tests, if you'll wait outside I'll come get you the moment we have news"

I reluctantly kiss her burning forehead before leaving her with them, a feeling of déjà vu overcoming me as I sit down and wait for news once again.

…..


	18. Skinny Love

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 17

…..

Bobby's POV

It had been 6 hours since Kitty was poisoned and they still couldn't stabilise her. I held her hand as she lay unconscious on the bed, wet flannels on her forehead and under her armpits to try and lower her temperature. Jean was checking her vitals every so often while Hank worked on an antidote, the only problem was that they had no idea what was in the poison or what it would do to Kitty's body.

Jean came in, a sympathetic look on her face "I'm sorry Bobby but I need to do some more tests" she apologises. I give her a nod and quickly give Kitty a kiss on the head before going outside to let her do the tests.

Storm was sitting outside, in her sweats instead of the usual smart blouses and pants she usually wore. "How is she?" she asks as I sit down next to her.

"The same, Jean's doing more tests but they still can't get her stable. Any word on Rogue? She's got to know what's in the poison" I ask as I fold my arms across my chest.

"They're keeping her under heavy observation and Logan is doing his best but she hasn't said a word yet"

I clench and unclench my fists in anger at the pain that she has once again put Kitty through "If something happens to her… I'll kill her" I snap

"Nothing is going to happen, Kitty is strong. She's proven that already; she'll do it again" She says as she takes one of my hands and gives it a gentle squeeze.

We wait for another hour before Jean comes out, results in her hand.

"So?" I ask as she sits down next to me.

"Bobby… it's not good news. The poison is slowly shutting down her organs and unless we do something soon it will be too late. Her temperature is still too high which means she is burning through whatever fluids we give her and the higher it gets the more damage it can cause" Jean explains

"So… so she's dying?" I ask, a lump forming in my throat as I think back to her laugh, her smile. How could I ever possibly live without seeing those again?

"Our only hope is the antidote; Hank is working restlessly on it but Bobby you need to prepare yourself" she says taking my hand.

I quickly rip it away "No. No I don't need to prepare myself because she is going to be fine. She's not going to die, not after everything we've already been through. She's strong, she'll survive this too" I say, standing up "Wha-What can I do? There has to be something I can do"

She sighs "Bobby Hank is working as hard as he can but it's hard to make an antidote without knowing exactly was in it"

Then I think of something "So you need to know what was in the poison? We have Marie, I'll get it out of her" I say menacingly, turning to go leave.

"Wait! She's awake! I can hear her thoughts!" Jean calls out and I turn back around, pausing for a few seconds before rushing inside the room. She's barely awake, her eyes half open as she coughs,

"Oh, thank god!" I gasp, rushing to her side and pressing a kiss to her forehead, brushing her chin with my thumb.

I fell her hand weakly touching my arm "It's okay"

"How are you feeling?" I ask, pushing her sweat hair away from her feverish forehead as Jean checks her out.

"Tired…my head hurts" she croaks, taking a sip of water from the cup I hold for her "How bad… is it?" she wheezes

"It's nothing to worry about, you're going to be fine" I say and Jean pauses from beside us.

"You wouldn't tell me even if I was dying, Jean… what's going on?" she asks and Jean hesitates

"Jean, don't" I beg

"Don't what? It's my life! I have a right to know" Kitty shouts, sitting up in the bed

"Kitty please, you need to rest. Getting worked up isn't going to help" I try to persuade her

"Then tell me what's going on!"

"You're dying!" Jean shouts, interrupting our fight. Kitty exhales as if the air has been knocked out of her lungs and falls back against the bed.

"I… I'm dying?"

I exhale, pinching the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger "No, okay it's not going to happen. Hank is working on an antidote right now and you're going to be fine"

She looks to Jean "Can we have a minute?" she asks, Jean nods and leaves the room leaving just the two of us. I sit down on the bed beside her as she weakly takes my hand, locking eyes with me.

"Robert Drake, I love you"

I interrupt her "What are you doing?"

"Just let me talk okay?... I know that you are going to doing everything you can to save me…. But, there's a chance you won't be able to and I want you to know it's okay. I know you did everything you could"

"Don't"

"I love you, I've loved you since the first time I saw you and these last few months have been the happiest of my life. You have made me so incredibly happy, I want you to know that. No matter what happens" I can see how weak she is, her skin is ghostly pale despite her extremely high fever and she has dark shadows under her eyes.

"Please, please don't talk like this Kit I can't…. I can't lose you okay, I-I can't. I won't be able to live, not without you" I beg, tears threatening to spill from the corner of my eyes

She smiles, "You'll never be without me Bobby" she squeezes my hand softly "No matter what, I'll always be with you, right where I should be'

I'm about to kiss her, reassure her that everything is going to be alright when she groans in pain, clutching her head.

"Kitty? What's wrong?" I say leaping up from the bed

"My head!... Ahhhh!" she cries out, leaning forward on the bed.

"Jean! Jean we need help in here!" I yell as I hold Kitty on the bed.

She starts coughing, tiny flecks of blood staining the once clean white sheets. Jean comes running in and together we lie Kitty back on the bed but by that time she's already drifting in and out of consciousness.

"Kitty? Kitty c'mon open your eyes for me, look at me babe! "

Her head lolls back and forth, blood now streaming from her nose as Jean tries to stabilise her. Hank comes in and once again I'm pushed outside, waiting for news on the love of my life.

They both have grim looks on their faces when they step out, Jean approaches me first, we sit and she tries to give me a comforting smile.

"We have managed to control the bleeding and we've given her some medicine to hopefully increase her blood pressure but she's still in a very critical state. The poison seems to be spreading faster and to her major organs which is causing the bleeding." She pauses, taking my hand "Our major concern at the moment is her temperature, it is still much too high and that could cause some dangerous complications"

"Complications? What kind of complications?"

"Her brain is overheating, if we can't get it to go down then… there could be some brain damage. Not to mention her body is starting to shut down from the poison, her only hope is the antidote"

"Then we'll make her one, I don't know much about science but I'll do whatever it takes"

She sighs, "It's not that simple Bobby, there wasn't a large amount of it in her bloodstream. It just burned through too quickly so it's hard to make an antidote"

"Then we get more of the poison, or find out what was in it"

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"Marie's still here… I'll make her talk" I say, stepping in the direction of the cells. Jean quickly steps in front of me, blocking my path.

"No Bobby, this isn't you. C'mon you know that this isn't what Kitty would want" Jean tries to reason

"Kitty is in there because of her! I don't what I have to do if it means she lives" I snap, pushing past them quickly and running down to the cells.

Logan is standing outside her door; a frown appears on his face when he spots me and he blocks my entry "What the hell are you doing here Icicle? You should be with your girlfriend"

"I need to find out what was in that poison" I say, as if that will get him to step aside. He doesn't budge.

"No, that's my job. Go back to Kitty Bobby"

"I can't just sit around waiting for her to die Logan! I need to do something!"

"And what if something happens while you're gone? You'd never forgive yourself"

I shake my head "That's not going to happen, I'm going to find out what was in that vial"

He sighs, as if he realises that there's no point arguing with me and steps aside. I walk into the cell, she's sitting on the bed, an inhibitor similar to the one Kitty had been wearing when she was tortured around her neck. Karma's a bitch.

"You are going to tell me what was in that poison, right now" I snap, looking at her with disgust.

"And, why should I?" she sneers, not looking up from the bed.

"Because if she dies, I'm going to come back here and do to you every single that was done to her while she was in that hellhole thanks to you"

"I don't believe you would do that to me"

"Maybe the Bobby you knew wouldn't but I'm different now. And now, because of you the woman I love is dying so I really wouldn't question what I would or would not do to save her" I say, venom lacing my voice.

"But if I do tell you I'll just be locked in here for the rest of my life which is just another form of torture. At least this way I get to break your heart the way you broke mine"

"We'll let you go, hell even if Professor X doesn't agree I will find a way and you can join Magneto just please, Marie. Don't let her die, If you love me, you won't do this" I beg.

She stays silent for a few minutes before pulling a vial out of a sewn in patch on her jacket, she glares as she passes it over to me "Don't forget our deal, and it's Rogue by the way"

I pause before I rush out "I did love you, just so you know" I rush out before I have the chance to see her face crumple.

/

4 hours later and Kitty was barely hanging on, I held her hand I watched Hank administer the antidote he'd made using the poison.

"How long will it take?" I ask anxiously as I watch her.

"If it works she should start to respond in the next couple of hours, Bobby you know this isn't definite"

I shake my head "No she's going to be fine, she's strong. You'll see" I say confidently, kissing her hand.

He sighs but leaves me be, leaving the two of us alone. It's about 90 minutes later that I first hear her start to cough, her eyes fluttering open slowly.

"Hey, you're awake" I say, smiling at her

"You… saved me" she whispers and I tearfully nod, brushing her hair back "You're going to be fine"

"That's good… wouldn't want to leave you here" she raps and I can't help but laugh, pressing my face into her neck as I become overwhelmed.

"I thought you were going to die"

"Shhh, it's okay…. I'm here" she whispers as she holds me close. I fall asleep with her in the bed, not wanting to let her go, even for a second.


	19. The End

Never Let Me Go

Chapter 18

(I don't own X-Men)

….

A week in the infirmary under close observation and Kitty was finally given the all clear to leave, she'd need check-ups in the future to make sure there was no permanent damage to any organs but as the weeks passed she regained her strength and started to go about her normal routine again.

As part of the deal to save her life Rogue had been released, free to join Magneto if she wanted. Bobby hated that he had let the person who had endangered so many go free but as he heard Kitty sleeping beside him in their room he knew that he would do it all over again if it meant that he could save her.

He'd woken up, terrified that she was still in the infirmary, poisoned. When he glanced over though and saw her sleeping figure beside him though he calmed down, brushing her shoulder lightly with his hand. They both suffered from nightmares now.

She began to stir, as if knowing her partner was having trouble sleeping. She slowly opened her eyes, staring at him "What's wrong?"

"How do you know that there's something wrong?

"I know you Bobby, I can tell when something's bothering you. Now are you going to tell me or are we both not going back to sleep?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow at him

"I.. I had a nightmare" he confesses

She sighs, moving closer and curling up against him, wrapping her arms around his middle "I'm okay Bobby, I'm not going anywhere. Try and get some sleep babe, I'll still be here when you wake up"

He wraps his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her head and listening to the sound of her breathing getting heavier as she started to fall asleep.

"Kit?"

"Hmm?" she mumbled, half-asleep

"Marry me?"

"Okay" she mumbled before falling asleep.

Within a few minutes, he was asleep as well, a huge smile on his face.

…

They get married in front of the fountain on the school grounds surrounded by the students and teachers, they invite Bobby's parents who 'politely decline' but neither can be find it in themselves to feel sad as they say their vows.

It's not a fancy wedding, they have the reception inside the school and Kitty is wearing a rather simple white dress, blue flowers braided into her hair that almost match the exact hue of Bobby's tie. Storm blushes rather furiously when she catches the bouquet, her eyes flashing quickly to an oblivious Hank who's busy eating at the buffet table. Kitty cries when Professor X makes his speech, toasting to the two lovers who 'despite fates attempts to rip them apart, had always managed to find each other'.

They don't take a honeymoon, they're both needed at the mansion and they wouldn't want to anyway. In fact, the next day they're suiting up again, ready to fight a new battle. But the gold rings on their fingers remind them that despite the pain and ugliness of war, sometimes, if you look hard enough, you can find these small moments of pure unadulterated happiness.

And that, was worth fighting for.

….

The End!

Sorry for such a short chapter.

I am currently working on a sequel which should be up soon and I have actually been rather unwell lately.

But yay, a new journey awaits!


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